Thursday, March 24, 2011

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Kind of cruising alone on a semi-strict lower carb somewhat plan that seems to kind of give me a relative sort of break from compulsively obsessing about being perfect in a worll full of imperfection. I need to blog more often, but lately I have been stressed out, sleep deprived, sex- what????? somebody said sex, whats that? and on top of that all very drained emotionally. I need a vacation, a woman-girlfreind but I ll settle for just a woman, lol, not really I want a girlfriend and a companiona and a friend but I am too stubborn, too picky, too time deprived too old and too insecure. So I just need to work on getting my life on some kind of make sense route. Ok, that was a short blog. I will do a better job next time. Weight wise I lost a couple of pounds. So now I am at about 276 pounds ,thats a total loss of about 9-10 pounds in a few months. I ll take it. Hope you guys are doing better then I am.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Are we there yet?!

Sometimes I wonder how my brain really works, really?! I promised not to obsess with Medifast and try to follow it to a perfection. Why? Because it doesnt work for me! Its an excellent program but stress x two jobs x insane hunger patche at night x emotional demons= Medifast in a toilet! So what do I do? Do I finally admit to myself that I am a mature adult and not a stubborn teen who cant think rationally and rather thinks emotionally? No, I try and try and try again and again and again thinking this time is going to be different! And is it? Off course not, because insanity is a mentally retarded cousin of common sense. And I must be insane! I cant go on doing same things to only fail times and time again thinking I can and I will. I cant and I wont, at least for now, at least not in this physiologically and metabolically compromises shape I put my body in.

So I solemnly swear:

1. Not to weigh myself until March 31
2. Continue to eat Medifast meals but supplement it with unlimitted amount of low carb foods, preferably lean and green version
3. Blog more often

Weight= 281.5 pounds

Today I ate:

5 medifast meals= 550 cals: 75 grams protein and 6070 grams of carb minus 20 grams of fiber
10 oz or so grilled chicken with