Sunday, December 28, 2008

Wild weekend, old mistakes, same lesson!O

I will not even go on details over my weekend. I did manage to stay on protein shakes for 5 days, which was a very intresting experience. I should have stayed with it for two more days, but I didnt. I had a horrble, wild and uncontrolled weekend. I ate everything, from cakes to bread to you name it. Two days of no control food intake. That is it, though! I finally realized moderation and I is not a couple. I must completely cut out all, all and all man made sugary addictive and evil carbs! No more try a piece of this Sweedish cake or try just a bite of this Sweedish jelly. I learned another valuable lesson: All man made pastry are evil for me! Sweedish, Russian, American or Italian all are banned. I did banned cigarettes! I haven had for 18 months and my body thanked me for it. I havent tried Sweedish cigarette or italian one, so why are carbs any different? Just because they are made by another man in another country doesnt mean I should have a bite. So God willing and I really wanting it, no more madness for upcoming year. I am getting lonelier by a day, had a bad weekend emotionally. I must redirect my energy into a positive change! I dont know may be get a puppy! By the way, any recommendation for a new puppy are strongly welcome! Until we meet again, stay true to low carb and if you slip, get back. It will do your body good!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Friday menu! Diving itno my inner strength!

It is getting increasangly difficult to stay with the plan. Today for the first time in 5 days my hunger came back with a vengence. I am still hanging in there! There are only two days left of the challenge and this is already the furthest I have eve gone on liguid diet plan. Actually it wouldnt be fair to call it liguid, since I do eat few oz of nuts. But still, trust me, its not easy. I have no idea how Oprah was able to do it for 3 months. It is really touph to be able to stay away from real wholesome food! But I am doing it for a person who I got to know a bit over this past year and whos memory kept me going this far!


12 pm-
1 oz almonds= 170 cals; carbs= 4 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 calories


2 pm-
2 Isopure whey low carb protein shake= 220 calories; carbs=1 grams; protein=50 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 calories
2 oz light coconut milk= 50 calories



5 pm-
45 pistachious kernels= 190 calories; carbs= 6 grams



7 pm-
2 isopure whey protein= 220 calories; carbs=1 grams; protein= 50 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
2 oz cocnut milk= 50 cals

10 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals; carbs=4 grams
1 isopure whey protein= 110 cals; carbs=0.5 gram' protein= 25 grams
8 0z almond drink= 40 cals



TOTAL CALS= 1350 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 22 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN= 140 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= AMAZINGLY STILL 100 %

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Today was a challenge in itself!

I am barely holding on! For some reasons I felt up and down today. I had strange symptoms from overheating and racing heart to lethargy. At night my stomack was severely bloated and I felt kind of lightheaded. I am not sure what causes it, I suspect it might be something in my shakes. Tomorrow I will have to elimintate some ingredients to see what did cause all these very uncomftable feeling. Or could it still be that my body is trying to reajust to hormonal changes! I and my sister happened to pass by Juniors restaurant here in Brooklyn. For those that dont know, Juniors is considered the best cheesecake bakery in USA. It was featured on Oprah and many other shows. I have never tried and it was expensive. I bought one small pieand gave to my monther, father and even dog. I managed to stay away from it. It was tempting to say the least, but I did not touch it. This challenge is going strong psychologically, not so much in how I feel though. There are few days left, hopefully I will finish it. But so far I managed to survive 4 th day, which is more then ever before on protein shakes!



12 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals; carbs= 10 grams; fiber= 6 grams
8 0z almond drink= 40 cals; carbs=1 gram



3 pm-
2 whey chocolate Isopure scoops= 220 cals; carbs= 1 gram; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
1 tablespoon organic cocoa= 40 cals; carbs= 5 grams; fiber= 3 grams
1/2 tablespoon coconut oil= 50 calories



6 pm-
2 whey chocolate Isopure scoops= 220 cals; carbs= 1 gram; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
1 tablespoon organic cocoa= 40 cals; carbs= 5 grams; fiber= 3 grams
5 oz light coconut milk= 150 cals



8 pm-
2 whey chocolate Isopure scoops= 220 cals; carbs= 1 gram; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
1 tablespoon organic cocoa= 40 cals; carbs= 5 grams; fiber= 3 grams




12 pm-
1 oz almonds=170 cals; carbs= 3 grams
8 0z almond drink= 40 cals


TOTAL CALORIES= 1570 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS=25 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN=90
TOTAL EFFORT= 100 %

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Wednesday menu!

12 pm-
2 scoops of wehy protein= 150 calories; carbs= 8 grams; fiber = 5 grams' protein= 24 grams
8 0z of almond drink= 50 calories
dash of davinchi of sugar-free syrup

2 pm-
3 tablespoons of oraganic cocoa with hot water= 100 cals; carbs= 14 grams' fiber = 9 grams
2 oz of heavy cream= 50 calories
1 packet of steiva


5 pm-
2 scoops of wehy protein= 150 calories; carbs= 8 grams; fiber = 5 grams' protein= 24 grams
8 0z of almond drink= 50 calories
dash of davinchi of sugar-free syrup


8 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 calories: carbs= 10 grams; fiber= 6 grams
2 tablespoon coconut oil= 250 calories


10 pm-
2 scoops of Isopure low carb wehy protein= 220 calories: carbs=1 gram; protein- 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 50 calories


12 pm-
0.5 oz mixed nuts= 100 calories; carbs= 3 grams
1/2 tablespoon of coconut oil= 50 calories



TOTAL CALORIES= 142O CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 25 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN= 88 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= 100 %

TODAY WAS DAY 3! TOMORROW IS DAY 4 WHICH HAS BEEN A CURSE OF EVERY ATTEMPT BEFORE, BUT I FEEL STRONG AND STILL HOLDING ON! HARRY, SORRY BOR BUT THAT MORNING QUICK PICKER UPPER TASTED TOO BITTER, I FELT LIKE I HAD TO DRINK LIQUID PENICILIN! BUT.....IT GAVE ME A LOT OF ENERGY FOR A WHILE, EVEN TOO MUCH. FOR SOME REASONS TODAY I HAD A BOUT OF DIARHEA, SORRY TMI. I THINK MAY BE COCONUT DID IT!

Holidays are here, it means big temptation and Satan's coming out party! But you know what I say " We can stand the ground and guard the boarders"

Tuesady Menu!

12 pm-
2 chocolite whey protein scoops= 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams
1 glass of almond beverage aka Blue Diamond unsweetened drink= 50 cals; carbs=1
dash of Devinchi sugar-free almond syrup for flavor


2pm=
1/2 oz of mixed nuts= 100 cals; carbs= 3 grams


5pm-
2 chocolite whey protein scoops= 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams
1 glass of almond beverage aka Blue Diamond unsweetened drink= 50 cals; carbs=1
dash of Devinchi sugar-free almond syrup for flavor



7pm-
2 chocolite whey protein scoops= 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams
1 glass of almond beverage aka Blue Diamond unsweetened drink= 50 cals; carbs=1
dash of Devinchi sugar-free almond syrup for flavor
1/4 cup of half-half= 160ls; carbs=4



10 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals; carbs= 6 grams'; fiber= 3 grams' protein= 7 grams


12 pm-
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals




TOTAL CALS= 1100 CALS
TOTAL CARBS= 25 GRAMS
PROTEIN= 85 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= STILL 100 %



TODAY I AM STILL STANDING TALL! I FELT MUCH MUCH BETTER! STILL A BIT TIRED AT NIGHT BUT OVERALL BETTER! AND I WASNT THAT HUNGRY SO I GUES KETOSIS IS KICKING IN. I JUST REALIZED MY CALORIES ARE REALLY LOW FOR SECOND DAY IN A ROW, HOWEVER I AM NOT LIMITTING THE AMOUNT OF SHAKES, IT JUST HAPPENS THAT I AM NOT THAT HUNGRY OR I CAN TOLERATE THE HUNGER. IT IS FUNNY, BUT IT IS NICE TO REALLY FEEL A PHYSIOLOGICAL HUNGER AS OPPOSED TO JUST BOREDOM EATING! THIS PLAN IS GIVING ME NICE STRUCTURE AND PREVENTION FROM BINGING. I DO ALLOW MYSELF AN UNLIMITTED AMOUNT OF SHAKES. BUT THE DEAL WAS JUST SHAKES AND FEW NUTS! BUT I DONT WANT TO BINGE ON SHAKES AND IT KEEPS MY BINGES IN TOTAL CHECK AT LEAST FOR NOW!!!! MY MOST CHALLENGING DAY SO FAR HAS BEEN DAY NUMBER 3 AND 4. THOSE DAYS WERE ALWAYS A DEAL BREAKERS EITHER FOR BOREDOM OR OTHER REASONS. TODAY IS DAY 3 AND I AM STILL RIDING THE WAVES, HOPEFULLY I CAN DO THIS FOR AT LEAST A WEEK. THANK YOU ALL AND KEEP YOUR MENUS GOING!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Day numero uno of my crazy protein shake journey!

Weekend was disasterous, I am not even going to recap it! Some things are better left alone! Today was the Day! I woke up feeling completely out of it, no energy, no mood and no apetite! As the day went along I was actually forcing myself to eat. Then at night my brain was totally foggy, I felt ligthehaded and my body was rebelling! I dont know if it was sugar withdrawal or carb hang over, or ketosi nightmare but whatever it was, it was a day from Hell. By 11 pm I started feeling completely exhausted, not even exhuasted, it was sureal experience. I decided to go work out to help pump up blood a little bit. In the middle of the work out I felt very lighheaded and felt like passing out. My heart was racing and I couldnt wait to close down the building. I was given candy by security guard, but I refused. I did drink protein shake and it didnt help. I ended up in ER and they said I was hypoglycemic. They gave me an orange juice but I didnt drink it. I said the only way I am drinking it if I feel like I am passing out. So I didnt. I must go on with this challenge. After a while I felt better. I just dont comprehend how I would get hypoglycemic if I am not diabetic. Even given a fact I didnt eat enouph today, the carbs from overindulgence on weekend would store enouph glycogen in the liver to get my glucose up. I am done with day 1, and I am fine. I guess it will be hell for a few days until i get into ketosis and my body will shift into using ketones again. I am very determined to finish this one week challenge in Kevin's memory. I dont know but it is something I want to do badly. When I interviewed for my postition as an assitant director of student life departrment I was asked what was my best quality and I said without hesitation " Loyalty " then she asked me what was my worst one and I said " Loyalty ": My boss was puzzled and said "how can your best qualtiy also be your worst? I am loyal to my friends, my family, my work much more then I am loyal to myself. So at times by being loyal to others I am very not loyal to myself. And they do coincide, its called conflict of intrest! Today I was kind of upset at my best body. He was supposed to host a New Years party over at the Catskills mountains. We have been doing it for years. It is wild and lots of fun. But instead he elected to bail out the very last second becuase his new found girlfriend of 5 days decided she wanted to spend New Years with her friends. I first felt very unease about the whole thing and all my firends are furious at him. How can he do it? I kept thinking to myself. But then I let it go. I cant change him but I can change myself. Let go amd let God, one smart man said. So I am electing to be loyal and I will not bail out! I am going on until I feel overwhelmed and ready to throw a white flag but Keving keep me strong bro, I am doing it desptite my past failures. A week i promised a week i will deliver! Its worth it, I couldnt stand the way people dragged your name to prove an idiotic point. It bothered me! Where I come from we say that you speak highly of a person passed or you dont speak! I hope my actions speak higher than my words! Thank you guys for supporting me despite my past failures! I appreciate your help and I feel your support!


11 am-
1 scoop of vanilla whey protein= 100 cals' prtoein= 15 grams; carbs= 2 grams
1/4 cup of half and half= 120 calories


2 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals: carbs= 6 grams



5 pm-
syrup= o c2 scoops of whey vanilla protein = 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein=24 grams
1 tablesppon organic cocoa= 40 grams
1 glass seltzer
a bit of sugar-free Devinchi syrup


8 pm-
syrup= o c2 scoops of whey vanilla protein = 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein=24 grams
1 tablesppon organic cocoa= 40 grams
1 glass seltzer
a bit of sugar-free Devinchi syrup


12 am-
syrup= o c2 scoops of whey vanilla protein = 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein=24 grams
1 tablesppon organic cocoa= 40 grams
1 glass seltzer
a bit of sugar-free Devinchi syrup

TOTAL CALORIES= 1000 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 25 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN=105 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= ALL I HAD TO GIVE AND THEN SOME!


SHIT, I JUST REALIZED I JUST GOT 100O CALORIES IN, BUT IT WASNT BY DESIGN. I THOUGHT THE WEEKEND CALORIES SPLURGE WOULD MAKE UP FOR IT! I GUESS NOT!

I DID SOME WIEHG TRAINING, WHICH WAS NOT WELCOME BY MY BODY! WHEN WILL MY BODY AND MIND BE A COUPLE I AM PROUD OF?

Friday, December 19, 2008

Brain constipation or how I managed to eat nuts and gain 5 pounds in one day!

Ok people listen up! Nuts are excellent and healthy little guys! But can they be detrimental, you betta! But thats not what I wanted to talk with you about. Today was a nutritional tsunami kind of days, and it drove my demons dancing and celebrating! My demons totally took over, and then invited my weaknesses to the party. Soon after they had a baby called out of control behavior. And I ate the wrong nuts! I used to frequent russian grocery store thats a block away from where I live and is open 24 hours, talk about convenience! I finish work at 12 am and would go right into that store and bought bunch of garbage crap and eat it smoking a cigarette. That was my ritual for a while, smoking a cigarettes while eating famous russian stuffed nuts! Then I stopped smoking, then stopped eating russian stuffed nuts! I used to call that store a nutritional whore house! Today I revisited that store for the first time in almost a year, and yes I stuffed myself on famous russian stuffed nuts! Those nuts are basically crumble cookie made in a shape of walnut and in between two halves is filled with peanut butter paste. It is unbeleivable, both in taste and for one's waste. So here the formula whatever is good for taste is horrible for waste! Or whats fun russian is a death sentence for another human! So I am not even going to log what I ate , I will just list general food! But i dont feel guilty, whats the point. I could stop the insanity, i chose not to, I am still and addict, I sucked today and my behaviour was out of control, preriod, end o story, we are moving on! Tomorrow I am declaring another challenge! Without going into lots of details, i got really upset about this girl named fibergirl straight out accusing Jimmy of posting his dying brother's oictures for the whole world to see so he could make a dollar! I will not even honor those comments, i did though on pooti website on her straight talk blog. But not today. i dont know Jimmy well at all, i dont know Kevin that good but I felt strong connection to Kevin while Jimmy was describing every day that Kevin was fighting for his life! Kevin lived his life according to Kevin and thats the way it was! He is gone now but his memories and legacies will go on I am sure. So Kevin bro, I know you are out there in Universe listening and probably lauphing at me, but I will go on and do at least 7 days of pure liquid high quality combined whey and coconut shakes and few nuts a day diet. i couldnt do it for me, but I am doing it now to remember you. Call me nuts people, but I live and diet my way, period! Kevin every time I drink a shake I will raise my bottle, shake it up and drink up trying to remember your karaoke with Jimmy and those moments where you looked so happy and full of life! Sleep well bro and its shame that people needed to use your name to getunder Jimmy's skin. There is such thing as class which obviously is a foreign concept to some! I prey to have strength to not fall again, but if I do I know you will forgive me! But I hope I wont! And just in case anyone wondering I am not doing it for any money, praise or recognition! its a true heart call! Just a disclaimer!


Today I ate, not in any particular order: 2 packages of russell stover sugar-free chocolate nuts, plate of rice and macaroni and cheese, 6 russsian nuts, plate of Philipian food, dont know what it was, except I found some strange animal's body parts, oh well; two ice creams and other junk of the lowest nutritional order.

All scorning, analysis, advice and name calling is encouraged. I promise not to get mad. I am my own harshest critic. I deserve some hard asswhooping. Until we meet AGAIN, GOOD NIGHT AND BE WELL!

Thursday menu!

2 pm-
protein shake with 1 TBS coconut oil and almond milk= 320 cals= 30 grams protein= 7 carbs


6 pm-
protein shake with cocoa= 250 calores= 30 grams protein= 7 carbs


8 pm-
protein shake with cocoa= 250 calores= 30 grams protein= 7 carbs


10 pm-
protein shake with cocoa= 250 calores= 30 grams protein= 7 carbs
1 oz mixed nuts= 200 calories= 7 grams of protein= 5 carbs


1 am-
35 sweet cherries= 120 cals= 35 carbs
1 cup cotttage cheese= 250 cals= 10 protein= 5 carbs
1/2 cup of mixed berries= 70 cals= 5 carbs



TOTAL CALORIES= 1720
TOTAL PROTEIN= 130 GRAMS
TOTAL CARBS=78 GRAMS

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I blew a lid wide open from my plan and blew it again! I cant be hush-hush about it!

Hey, it did happen again! I failed or did I? I am finally at that stage of my life when I am ready to change my mind and my philosophy at how I look at things. I will not go into my usual 3 pages of detailed chains of events. Last night was both fun and disasterous at work. First, I havent had any qualityu sleep lately. Yesterday we had a huge departmental Holiday lunch. This time it was an extended staff meeting! And I did manage to be the only one not eating anything while people pigged out on everything and anything. I couldnt eat none of that food, because I was on my liguid protein shake diet and number two even quality portein was fried in breaded stuff. So it was challenging to say the least. I mean challenging indeed. From few days ago I only had to listen to few people bitch about me not having one cookie, but this time, since it was extended staff meeting, th bitching was extended as well. I mean whats with people having a problem with other people being different. Yes, I am weird, I told one lady. Yes, I am spooky, I told another. Yes, I am on that freaky dangerous Atkins diet I told the third. And yes, I have no problem eating this way despite the fact that animals have to be slaughtered for me to be fed that way I told the fourth. Until I couldnt be honest any more and did what most if us guys do when push comes to shove. We lie! I hate to lie, but at times i feel it is a viable option to hush an annoying woman. Its that or a nice, passionate kiss. Since I couldnt kiss all those annoying caring women, i had to start lying and annoying them back. Hey, cant help it. I am gemini, and can be the biggest pain in the butt. So I said to myself the very next person starts lecturing me on merits of merits of my diet or that it is impolite and antisocial to not eat where everyone else does, i will tell them.... And I did! I finally had it with people who cant take a clue or a thousands clues that at times I care about what people have to say and at times its time to back a hell off ladies! So I after another question from my boss this time about how my extreame nature gets me in trouble and how I have to be more moderate, including my diet I said outloud " Listen guys, I really do appreciate your concern and care for my health and my sanity, but I have hemoroids that will be removed tomorrow and I am in for an enema appointement so i am on all liguid diet to make sure when I do my enema cleansing and then it was silence..... I should have put it on youtube, i swear I could have made money out of it. It was like a frozen scene and people had parts of sandwitches still in their mouths and frozen in that position. Silence it was! Then my boss finally smiled and said Vadim have you ever heard of TMF? I said heard of what? She said TMI - too much information. I was, what? And I told her, hey have you ever guys heard of TMA? She said what? I sadi too much advices! She smiled again and said you are fired! I wasnt smiling but she was. It was a joke on her part. To make a short story long, the party was soon over and I held my ground again. I did absolutely fine all night until....... Until late night. I am in charge of all entertaintment programs on campus. And that includes intramural basketball tournament. I wont have into all the details but we had a big fight during a game between one of the medical student and a university police officer who is playing in the league. We allow employees to play with students. Needless to say it was a mess. I had to intervene, calling police and documenting everyhting. It was a huge stink, considering its a state university.Everything was fine in the end, they boht shook hands and got suspended for a year from the league. But when I finally came home, I was both exhausted and emotionally drained. So I decided to consciusly mind you give myself a cookie that I secretly took from my boss table. I really wanted to try it for some reason. After all she baked it with love for so many reasons. Yes, i was a big woes! The cookie tasted like..... Ok, imagine your best ever sexual experience with the person you were madly in love. Ok, that cookie compared to all the others I ate in my life tasted like mastyrbation would be compared to the best sex with the most loved person. It was cookie version of masturbation in sex. It was only good enouph to get by and satisfy a craving! Ok, may be TMI like my boss said. But that masturbation cookie led me to make love to real sweet junkie, you know how you women are attracted to bad boys, I am attracted to the worst bad boys of nutritional world. So there I went making love to ice cream, pasta, and few more real cookies. I was eating ice cream like it was my woman who I was in love with. And you know what, no regrets here. I did it, I did it consciously and I wont do it again for a long time now! I was trully enjoying every leak of that ice cream. It wasnt like the usual scarf it down in one bite. No, it was indeed making love. I was slow, and deliberate. Every bite and every leak was passionate and heart warming. Ok, you get the picture. So I am back to square one! But this time I will keep my pormise and end this challenge. Will I call it a failre? No. Failure it wasnt. It was an expeince! Not by age but by experience do we get wiser! I did manage to stay with the plan during very challenging times for 3 days! So I can easily do it. But the challenge is over as I promised. So now its back to no challenge. I will follow my nature and go along with it instead of resisting it. I love freedom, not restriction! There is a reason I am not yet married! ok, that was a bad joke, never mind! Its like peeing in the wind and gettign upset at the wind for getting wet! So no more challenges, just sane low carb eating! Ok, guys ubtil we meet again, my menu is next! I must be honest with you all, you are my comrades in battles!


2 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories; protein= 25 grams
5 oz coconut milk= 80 calories
8 0z almond drink= 40 calories
1/2 oz of Devinchi syrup sugar-free
1 tablesppon of organic cocoa= 40 cals




6 pm-

same as 2 pm



10pm-
same as 2 pm



1am-
1 ice cream bar, 5 cookies, a small plate of pasta with artichoke hearts and breaded chicken; cherries;


Sorry for misspeled words, my brain is much faster than my hands. And I am always in the rush! Thank you for listening!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tuesday menu or whats the difference between a coconut oil and a pregnant woman! Today I had every chance to blow my nutty plan, but did I?

Where do I start? Where do I start? Today was one of those day that was impregnated by evil Satan himself! Waking up was a big challenge! I woke up from a horrible nighmare,and when I did it was awful. I felt so weak and bloated that I had to check my reproductive organs, to make sure I had not transfered into a woman overnight. It did feel like everything my ex-gfriend described when she was about to have a period. Thanks God everything was still in place and I was indeed who I thought I was. It took me time to collect myself and rebound from a horrible nightmare. I was late for work, so in a rush I forgot my car keys and where I parked my car a night before. It took me half an hour to find a car in a pouring rain to only find out I wasnt missing keys to open it. Ok, back home in a pouring rain! You would think while getting back home I would get an umbrella, wouldnt you? Beep, beep, beep! I didnt. So back in a pouring rain, with no umbrella. I was able to make it to work in one piece though. Once at work I was called into my pregnant boss office for a nice chit chat. A nice chat ended up being an all out open disagreement even though the only person who was chatting, and disagreeing was my boss. Have you ever experienced a feeling when a woman is having an argument with herself? Ok, I did. My pregnant boss called me a push over because I let students leave with cakes from coffeehouse which was supposed to be a sit down event. As soon as I attempted to open my mouth, I was told to shut it. So without opening it to the degree where it needed to be shut, I shut it. I wasnt about to have an argument with a pregnant woman for two reasons. One, I consider myself a gentleman and most importangly I didnt want my boss to have premature contractions. Finally when I was able to open my mouth wide enouph to whisper a word, I was immediately told it was bunch of excuses and that as a manager of the facility I am way too soft at times and an enabler. Ok, it was time to keep myslef from moving again. Finally I had it with an errational, emotional pregnant woman and decided to say she was 100 percent right, I was 100 percent wrong and both I and my team will do amuch better time next event. You would assume the conflict was over. Wrong! I was then being told to stop being sarcastic! HAh? Sarcastic? I said no, i just dont want to argue for two reasons I said. Number one I didnt feel the reason to open my mouth since it creates too many excuses, and two I didnt know how to deliver a baby! Then I was accused of being dismissive! At that moment i did what any sane man would do. I started lauphing hysterically! Lol, you know what it worked! Because she started crying! It was a scene worth seing! I stopped lauphing, for some reason she just killed it by crying! Then it was 20 minutes of consoling, appologizing and crying again! Finally it was over! Until I remembered today was a day for staff meeting. And staff meeting was run by my pregnanat woman. And off course there had to be lots of food! All kind of food. Salmon with teryaki sause, lasagna, jerk chicken, sushi, scallops and champaigne! Just when I realized I wasnt having any of those foods, my boss extended a box to me and said " hey, Vadim, I am sorry for a rampage before, I did overreacted a bit. I said whats in a box? She said home made cookies. Home made cookies, I asked? She said " I know you love cookies and I spent almost all night baking them in appreciation of having you on my staff! And she hates cooking! I started lauphing again! I said, you know what you will lauph with me when I tell you that I cant have these cookis tonight! She wasnt lauphing! There was so many reason to have those home made cookies, but I stood my ground! I did go into explaining how I was having a challenge and how it was this and how it was that, but ...... She wasnt having all of my excuses until I would eat one of her cookies. Do you think I did??????????


2pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
1 glass of light coconut milk= 125 calories
1 tablesppon of organic cocoa=50 calories
1/2 oz of sugar free Davinchi almond syrup= 0 calories
1 tablesppon of coconut oil=120 calories


6 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
1 glass of light coconut milk= 125 calories
1 tablesppon of organic cocoa=50 calories
8 oz almond breeze bevwerage= 40 calories


8 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond breeze bevwerage= 40 calories


10 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond breeze bevwerage= 40 calories
1 oz mixed nuts= 200 calories

12 pm-
0.75 oz mixed nuts= 150 calories


TOTAL CALORIES= 1550 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 30 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN= 125 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= 100 % AND THEN SOME!


Quote of the day: Behold the Woman

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

Monday, December 15, 2008

Monday menu! Protein shakes and few nuts!

2 pm-
2 scoops od Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories= carbs= 8 grams, fiber =5 grams: protein= 24 grams
5 oz light coconut milk= 80calories
8 0z almond breeze drink= 40 caloires= protein=1 gram; carbs = 1 gram
1 tablespoon of cocoa= 40 calories; carbs= 2 grams


6 pm-
2 scoops od Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories= carbs= 8 grams, fiber =5 grams: protein= 24 grams
5 oz light coconut milk= 80 calories
8 0z almond breeze drink= 40 caloires= protein=1 gram; carbs = 1 gram


8 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 calories; carbs= 7 grams; fiber= 3 grams; protein= 5 grams

10 pm-
2 scoops od Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories= carbs= 8 grams, fiber =5 grams: protein= 24 grams
5 oz light coconut milk= 80 calories
8 0z almond breeze drink= 40 caloires= protein=1 gram; carbs = 1 gram


12 am-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 calories; carbs=7 grams; fiber= 3 grams; protein= 5 grams



Total calories= 1225
Total carbs=47 grams
Fiber=25 grams
Protein=95 grams
Effort= 100 % oh yeah!


Ok, today was rather hectic at work. I absolutely was stressed for time and managed to get by few protein shakes and few oz of nuts! Day one was challenging! As usual hunger hit at night, but I didnt give in. Hopefully this plan will stick for at least two weeks. This is it, very last attempt! So far so good!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Carb overload hangover or how I decided to change my plan!

Do you guys want to know how two adult idiots decided to confront their weaknesses in so called construcive way? Ok, here we go. Lately I have been stressing over not being able to complete my protein shake plan, which at a time was so feasable. So the more I seemed to anylize and bitch about it, the more I kept failing it. Hence I decided to take a few days off and just chill as my nephew suggested. Chilling was supposed to be a regular low carb, whole quality meals. But I guess just by virtue of the word itself '' chill '' it become somewhat of an all you can eat and all you can poop and all you can vomit kind of feast. That was some chilling all right! So in the middle of the chilling, a freind of mine called me up complaining profusely about him and his wife and how the only way he knows to deal with those fights is by drinking wine. He is full blooded Italian with good pedigree! So drinking helped him initially, until his full bloodied Italian wife with no less perfect pedigree would bitch about him drinking and more fights arose from drinking that led to even more fights! You get the picture! So yesterday morning, my Italian friend had another fight with his Italian, full pedigreed wife and decided to end it all once and for all! It was a perfect oppurtunity for me as well to end my struggle with not finishing my challenge once and for all. It was a perfect blend, my full pedigree Italian friend ( who by the way is 6 ft tall and weights about 275 pounds) and a Russian guy, me, with less than perfect pedigree. Two idiots + one common problem= Two common problems!!! So we sat down at his backyard and contemplated how to confront our problems, so different in nature, yet very same in principal! And there it was, a perfectly fine decision! We decided to confront it by not confronting it or at least for the day confronting it by showing them , problems, who the boss was! And how did we decide to do it? By him drinking all he could wine, and by me eating all I could eat carbs! Final result: He was drunk, I was drunk and full of fecal matter and we both ended up in my house. His wife threw him out! She did take him back today after 3 hours of begging, two hours of asking for forgiveness and one hour of buying her very expensive gifts! Thanks God I am not married!!! I ended up gaining 7 pounds, two headackes and loss of a wallet! But...... I learned a very valuable lesson! If I had a brain I would be very dangerous! Thanks God I am not married! Ok, that was then and this is now! I have got a new plan of attack! One, I decided to change my plan. Two I will give it the very last green light, if it doesnt work this time, its back to my regular low carb whole meals!. Three, I am not yet ready to get married!

First, by changing my plan I will not limit how many shaked will be consumed. It will be a drink every tow hours no matter what and more if needed. I will remove one meal from my plan. It didnt work. Given my extreame nature one meal became an open invatation to binges. Instead I decided to add 1 0z of nuts to add a bit of chewing so not to deplete my brain of whole meal feeling. Hence I called my plan "' PROTEIN SHAKES AND NUTS'' ONE OF THEM NUTS SHOULD BE NAMED POTS! I AM ONE OF THOSE NUTS THAT WILL BE IN M PLAN, LOL, WASNT THAT FUNNY! Ok, so this is it! One last change, one last attempt, one last failure or one big success! So until we meet again......



I DIDNT THINK THERE WAS EVER A NEED TO POST WHAT I ATE YESTERDAY, SO NOT TO MAKE ANYONE SICK, BUT IDECIDED TO DO IT ANYWAY FOR ACCOUTABILITY PURPOSE. ONE THING I WAS ALWAYS PROUD OF MYSELF IS MY HONESTY. I AM THAT KIND OF A GUY, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET, NO MORE NO LESS! I MAY BE UNPREDICTABLE, UNSTABLE AND EVERCHANGING, THATS MY NATURE BUT I AM ALWAYS HONEST!


I WILL JUST LIST THE FOOD I ATE WITH NO COMMENTS TO ACCOMPANY. THAT FOOD WILL SPEAK LOUD AND CLEAD FOR ITSELF. SOMETIMES SILENCE SPEAKS LOUDED THAN ANY WORD, EVEN THOUGH USUALLY THATS NIOT THE CASE WITH ME!

2 TERAMUSU, 3 ICE CREAMS BARS, 5 SLICES OF PIZZA, 2 BOTTLES OF WINE, MORE SLICES OF PIZZA, ONE VERY ANGRY FULL PEDIGREE ITALIAN WIFE, LOTS OF SCREAMING AND DERAGATORY TERMS, MORE WINE, HUGGING AND KISSING OF FUL PEDIGREE ITALIAN WIDE AND HUSBANDS, SOME TEARS, MORE WINE, MORE SCREAMING AND FIGHTING BY ANGRY FULL PEDIGREE ITALIAN WIFE. OI, VEY STOP THE MADNESS! OI, VEY STOP THE MADNESS! THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEING HERE FOR ME!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Opportunity! You''ll always Miss 100 % of shots you don"t take! I took another shot at my plan and almost made it but it did come a bit short!

I took anohter shot at a plan of mine that looks so freaking feasible a day before! Not a day after though! Have you ever had a feeling of such an enormous emotional orgasm when you feel you are ready to go on a diet and grab it by its balls? Especially after holidays binge, sounds familiar. You feel so guilty about putting a piece of that pie or a bite of that carby loaded crap. Then you debate in your head,contemplating it. You have at least two people debating, one saying what a hell, just go for it and start new tomorrow. The other sais no way, you worked so damn hard to get at this point. Finally the human side of you wins and you go for it! And then.....you are fucked, pardon my Russian. You fell right into that proverbial diet trap! How many of us been there before. And then one samll piece become one big piece which eventually becomes an all out sprint to a binge paradize! Or as we say where I come from " If you burnt the house might as well as burn the garage as well'' So a small piece becomes a party of gluttony and self-let-go. Then self-pity and low self esteem gets in on the party. Have you noticed how self-pity and low self esteem always come together even though noone ever invites them! Soon after party gets more crowded. Guilt, shame, depression and other cousins of emotional demon family show up just in time when you are ready to throw up from that initial piece of cake that was supposed to be a buffer between a craving and self-control. Moments later it is time for deep analysis! What had just trinspired, you say with ghlee? How did that just happen? But no despair, you have got it under control! And at that very moment your best friend shows up to console it. His friend is Tomorrow or Monday or New Year! Yes, he is here! I will start all new tomorrow! It feels so good saying it when your stomack is still full of undigested fecal matter that started so innocently by eating just that small piece of cake. Tomorrow I will grab it by the balls! Thanks God for tommorow! Opprotunities of Tomorrow is a chance of correcting lots of undigestable fecal matter of yesterday! Or as I would say, Monday is an oppurtunity to get rid of all the shit that you gathered over the weekend! Thanks God for Tommorrows! So without further a due, I hereby declare that tomorrow is just around the corner and I am welcoming it yet again with love and devotion! Today I didnt quite eat that much undigested fecal matter but Tomorrow I am going to have none of the excuses of today! I have had it ladies and one gentleman! No more drek! No more undigested fecal matter, no more burning houses or garages! No more! I am getting this plan into my strong hands and will grab it by the balls! And tight I will hold it! Until I get it done! So until we meet again!


12 pm-
1.5 cup of cottage cheese= 250 calories= 8 carbs
1 glass of almond milk= 40 calories= 2 grams carbs
2 tablesppon of flax seed= 100 calories
1 cup of blueberries=90 caloires=carbs 12 grams



4 pm-
6 oz of sugar -free chocolate= 600 calories




8 pm-
6 oz of grilled chicken = 300 calories
1/2 cup of grilled zuccini= 90 calories



12 pm-
1 glass of almond milk- 40 calories
1/2 cup of blackberries=100 calories= 15 grams carbs
2 tablespoon sour cream= 100 calories-
1 packet of truvia


TOTAL CALORIES=1800 CALORIES
CARBS=55 GRAMS

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Whats the difference between a mentally challenged person and a neurotic one? My Wednesday menu! Oi wey! Lots of drek!

Oi wey! Ok, the difference between a mentally challenged person and a nerotic one is that when you ask a mentally challenged person how much is 2 plus 2 he will insists that it is 5, and neorotic person knows it is 4 but he can never accept it! I am a freaking neurotic nut who keeps thinking 2 plus 2 will be 4 but still cant accept it. Or am I? I failed again or as one famous person said to another I fell off a wagon that sped up before I had a chance to jump on it! Oi wey, breath in and breath out, nice and slow! Stop the madness, by the way where is she now? Remember that crazy hyper chick on tv in early 90's that kept hollering on top of her lungs ''stop the madness people! Whatever happened to her? I refuse to admit that I cant sustain a diet of nutritionally sound protein shakes and one whole meal for at least two weeks. No freaking way! I once sustained a diet of two weeks no food period! It was called starvation miracle by Paul Bragg or miracle of starvation or whatever kind of miracle it was. Let me tell you something, the only miracle of that diet was that I still alive and was able to conceive after that one. Oi wey stop the madness! So the show must go on! I will not rest until I concur this freaking plan of mine. It is mind over mindless now. I know, I know you guys heard it all before. But have faith in me, I can and will do this thing. I did subotage it few times and I underestimated the power of my weaknesses and my demons. However I am still standing with my head up! I can do it! Show me some love and belief in me. So starting tomorrow I am back in a saddle, with all my mental powers geared up and ready to go. Its getting desperate here and it is time for desperate measures. Are you with me? Do you believe in me? Show me some love here as I am embarking on whats supposed to be a beginning of a beautiful thing. I have a preminition that this time everything will turn out exactly the way I wanted and I will have it my way!!!!



12 pm-
1.5 cups cottage cheese= 250 calories
1/2 cup blueberries


3 pm-
3 slices of pizza
2 peices of drek cake


6 pm-
1 ice cream bar



10 pm-
1.5 buffal.o burger
1 cup cabbage
2 oz almonds


It was a day full of drek! Oi wey, stop the madness!

I changed a light bulb and managed to still have an ability to have children or how I found out a way to have a cellular orgasm!

Ok, ok that post might be a bit too confusing! Follow me along and you will find out!
Last time I changed a light bulb was long, long, long time ago. It was so long time ago that I did still have full head of hair, full head of grey matter and was still full of myself! But it was kind of traumatic. I dont know how, I dont know why, but I managed to get electrecuted. Since that, no more changing bulbs today. Until today! Today I needed to change a light bulb! Long and behold I did! It was a majical moment. I needed that, it raised my spirit to another level. I work for state university in NYC. For those who have been so fortunate to have never worked for one, let me tell you it sucks donkey's behind and front big time! I called control room and asked them to change a light bulb! I was told that only electricians do that, and they only do that from 9 am to 4 pm. After 4 pm, you are on your own. So I was on my own! I said to myself, man, VAdim you can do it. Whats the big deal, its a light bulb! So I got up on a ladder, unscrewed the old light bulb, and was ready to screw a new one back in. The only problem with a whole chain of above mentioned events was that I forgot to turn off the switch, so the electricity was still running through the wires. It was a boiler room, and light bulbs always stay on in boiler room! So as I was screwing the light bulb back in expecting no majic, the majia happened. Unfortunately too soon and way too unexpected. The light bulb went on and I went..... down from the ladder! As I was laying on a ground I started lauphing hysterically! A coworker of mine heard me lauphing or fallen from the ladder, and rushed into the room to see what had happened. Imagine his surprise to see me on the floor lauphing hysterically next to a fallen ladder under the fully lid bulb! He said '' why are you lauphing? Are you hurt? Exactly in that sequence. I said and dont know why '' I am just happy I will still be able to have children because next time I need to change a ladder it is going to be my son who will do it! When I hit home I was still quite happy that everyhting turned out innocenlty except a little scratch on my forehead. I wanted to celebrate my ordeal and for some reasons grabbed a glass of wine. I drank a glass of wine and wanted soemthing sweet. I took out a cartoon of almond milk, poured a glass and transferred it to the bowl. Then I mixed in some frozen blueberries, blackberries, wine and almonds. I kept stirring it in until I got quite a thick mixture. It was heavenly! But it was missing something else! I went back got a tablespoon of organic cocoa and few stevia packets and went back to wathc my favorite russuian movie. As I was watching it eating my mixture of heavenly delicious fruits, almond milk and cocoa I felt such a nice warm feeling all over my body. It was a cellular orgasm! I felt like every sngle cell of my body was individually massaged and tickled by Love! It was an emotinal orgasm, or a cellular orgasm as I framed it. so the moral of this story is that at times we need a light bulb to go on to feel happy. And let me telly you first hand that it is much better seen when you are down then when you are up! Cheers!



2 pm-
1 scoop of Chcolite whey protein=calories 120; protein= 22; carbs=0
8 0z of almond milk= 50 calories= crb = 1 gram
1 tablespoon of fish oil= 110 calories
1/3 cup blueberries= 40 calories= carbs= 5 grams


4 pm-
1.5 buffalo burger= 450 calories; protein= 70 grams; carbs=0
8 oz eggplant paste= 100 calories; carbs= 10 grams



6 pm-
1 scoop of Chcolite whey protein=calories 120; protein= 22; carbs=0
8 0z of almond milk= 50 calories= crb = 1 gram
1 tablespoon of organic cocoa= 40 calories; carbs- 2 grams


8 pm-\
1 scoop of Chcolite whey protein=calories 120; protein= 22; carbs=0
8 0z of almond milk= 50 calories= crb = 1 gram
1 tablespoon of organic cocoa= 40 calories; carbs- 2 grams
1 OZ ALMONDS=170 CALOIRES



10 pm-
1 scoop of Chcolite whey protein=calories 120; protein= 22; carbs=0
8 0z of almond milk= 50 calories= crb = 1 gram
1 tablespoon of organic cocoa= 40 calories; carbs- 2 grams

1 am-
1.5 cups cottage cheese= 250 caslories; protein=15 grams; carbs= 7 grams
8 oz almond milk= 40 calories
1 tablespoon organic cocoa= 40 CAL
1/3 CUP OF BLUEBERRIES= 50 CALORIES
3 OZ SUNFLOWER SEEDS= 500 CALORIES' CARBS= 10 GRAMS
4 OZ WINE= 100 CALORIES; CARBS= 4 GRAMS
1 OZ ALMONDS= 170 CALORIES

TOTAL= 2775 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 68

Monday, December 8, 2008

Monday meals!

12PM-
2 chicken thighsabout 4oz= 280m calories= 30 grams of protein
2 chicken breast=150 calories=25 grams of protein
2 tablespoons of wasabi mayo=200 calories
1 low stressed chicken link= 35 calories= 5 grams of protein
1 oz almonds= 170 calories


3pm-
1 scoop of Isopure chocolate whey protein= 120 calories= 22 protein
1 scoop of Chocolite whey protein= 80 calories= 12 protein
10 oz Countdown milk= 120 calories
1 tablespoon of organic cocoa= 40 calories


6 pm
1 scoop of Isopure chocolate whey protein= 120 calories= 22 protein
1 tablespoon of organic cocoa= 40 calories
4 oz of light coconut milk= 50 calories
1/3 cup of blueberries= 50 calories= 7 grams carbs



8pm-
1 scoop of Isopure chocolate whey protein= 120 calories= 22 protein
1 tablespoon of organic cocoa= 40 calories
8 oz of light coconut milk= 100 calories
1/3 cup of blueberries= 50 calories
1 oz almonds=170 calories

11 pm-

1 scoop of Isopure chocolate whey protein= 120 calories= 22 protein
8 oz light coconut milk= 100 calories



1 pm-
3 0z chicken thigh=250 calories= 25 grams of protein
6 low stressed chicken links= 400 caloires= 30 grams protein
1 tablesppon of wasabi mayo= 100 calories
1 egg= 70 calories


TOTAL CALORIES= 2920 CALORIES


IT WAS A BIT MORE THAN I WANTED CALORIES WISE FOR TODAY, BUT GIVEN THE FACT THAT I WAS COMING OFF A HORRIBLE WEEKEND OF JUNK CRAP, I LL TAKE IT. I DID GET ALL MY SHAKES IN, AND THAT IS A GOOD THING FOR ME. I ALSO DID SOME HEAVY LIFTING TODAY SO I DID BURN CALORIES THERE AS WELL!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Has anyone heard of LOW STRESS CHICKEN? HAH? Yes, I bought them! Low stress, Kosher chicken links to the rescue!

Ladies and a very few Gentlemens! I present to you the only show in town! Put your feet together and stump as hard as you can because here He is........... A man who bought LOW STRESS CHICKEN LINKS! Ok, ok, ok I admit I did buy low stress chicken links. They were raised in a free range environment under very low stress and killed in amost humane way possible under Rabbi supervision. They must be magical! I will use them sparingly in my meals. Now I know for sure why I couldnt lose weight all this time. It must have been those damn high stress chickens, that werent roaming in free range environment, having lived under low stress and killed in a most humane way possible under Rabbi supervision! Those damn stressed out chickens! No wonder my nephew at 14 looks like English Mastiff on his worst day! Always cranky, and demanding! And he is just as big! He eats a lot of chicken links. See the links? Chickens that are not free ranged, having lived under low stress, and killed in a most humane way under rabbi supervision are linked to kids that look like English Mastiff on a bad day! I will start a movement! FAt people against high stressed chickens that link to kids that look like English Mastiff on a bad day, who are always cranky and demanding! But for now I have an unfinished business to copmlete! I must first tend to my fat cells and kill them using low stress, and killing them in a most humane way under my supervision! And I am ready to rock, and I am ready to roll and I am just damn ready! So without further delay, please cheer me on! Here comes a man on a mission. A man who bought free ranged, low stressed, treated in amost humane way and killed under Rabbi supervision! Until we meet again!


WEIGHT= ASTOUNDING, UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE, AND STOMACK CHURNING, TARAAAAAAAA= 227 PONDS! I MANAGED TO LOSE A POUND EATING SO MUCH DREK, THAT IS DERAGATORY TERM FOR SHIT IN JEWISH. Oh, hold down that is shit in jewish! Ok, Monday meals are coming up, on Monday!!!!!

Sunday already? Ok, then I am posting my meals!

10 am-

1 cup of cottage cheese= 150 calories
2 tablespoons of organic cocoa ( aka Harry's magic friend )= 100 calories
1 packet splenda


2 pm-
russel stove sugar-free chocolate covered almonds for 4 = 400 calories
russel stove sugar-free chocolate covered caramel candy for 4= 390 calories


6 pm-
6 oz turkey breast= 300 caloies
1 tablesppon wasabi mayo= 100 calories
2 tablesppon of chicken paste with Parchini and Truffle mushrooms= 200 calories



10 pm-
russel stove chocolate covered almond for 4= 400 calories
russel stove peanut butter cups for 3 = 420 calories


1 am-
bread= 150 calories ( first time in a long time)
2 tablespoon chicken paste with Parchini and Truffle mushrooms= 200 calories
1 tablespoon of almond butter= 200 calories


TOTAL CALORIES=2995 CALORIES


OK, that was the last day of not so goodskiy week. Hopefully it is behind and over with. Lets see how the next week turns out to be. One meal at a time to the winning two weeks! I must go on and it must be concured, but if I fail this time the show will be cancelled and I will go back to what worked all along, low carb Atkins style liberal amount of real food! Cheer me on people, play fanfare! What time is it? I cant hear you guys? I said what time is it? Time to kick my fat butt and my fat cells and show them who the boss in the house really is! enouph said, lets go to work!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

THE SHOW MUST GO ON! SATURDAY MENU, I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

OK, today wasnt my proudest day accomplishment wise. I woke up feeling better, but still only managed to get 4 hours of sleep. I knew it was going to be a busy day! I spent at least an hour going over my mistakes and contemplating what to do next. First, I went back and tried to remember what strategy worked best for me in the past! And then it hit me! I know why this particular challenge was a failure from a get go! By nature I cant stand anything that restricts my nature or my body. I always hated ties, button up shirts, and all kinds of jewelry! Few weeks ago one girl made a joke about my inability to keep or wear jewelry! I said to her that I couldnt stand wearing anything on my body and that I always had touph time keeping anything jewelry or not on it! She sarkastically lloked at me and said " No wonder you cant keep a girlfriend either "! I thought, and thought and thought! And there it was, an answer staring me right in my stubborn face! Low carb Atkins style diet! That was the diet that best suited me! I lost so much on it and the reason for that was that I didnt try to restrict either amount of food ( low carb ) or calories. And the genious of high fat, low carb lifestyle is that by not restricting calories and being able to eat liberally, calories were restricted naturally. Even when I was a very young boy it did work that way! I have and always be very observant and curious! And my mom knew it. So if she didnt want me to do something, she would just allow me to do it anyway in unlimitted amount. And eventually I would just lose intrest and stop doing it. But the more people limitted me, the more rebelous I would become and resist it! So my answer is not to restrict but allow! And by allowing I do restrict! Thats it, thats simple and yet so genious! So I am changing my plan! I will still finish the challenge but now with few changes! I will only make it two weeks! Thats more then enouph. I will not limit the amount of shakes I can drink. It will be all I want protein shakes to keep me satisfied, instead of 5. One meal will still remain intact! So those are the changes! I will go on though with this challenge until I concur this bull! There is no way in hell I am giving ip ! I must go on, and on I am going! And after two weekd it is back to Atkins brand of food. Liberal amount of high fat, moderate protein and low carb meals! But not unitl I finish this animal first.


Saying all that I forgot to post my meals today. It was a horrible day nutritionally! I knew it was going to be. It was my nephew Bday and I promised myself to let myself go today. I needed it! I kind of compromised with my demons today. But tomorrow its back to battlegrounds again. There will only be one winner, one king standing and hopefully it is me and not my demons! I feel strong again, I have got my new weapons and ready and willing to go on! Let the show begin!\



!0 am-
2 russel stove sugar free chocolate covered almonds= 760 calories



6 pm-
My nephew Bday
I ate high carb junk , first tiem in a long time now. I ate at least 4 or 5 pieces of home made cake.



8 pm-
Hagen dauz ice cream bar



10 pm-
1 cup of cottage cheese



THE SHOW MUST GO ON! THE SHOW MUST GO ON! THE SHOW WILL GO ON!

Friday, December 5, 2008

A JOURNEY OF A THOUSANDS MILEBEGINS WITH THE FIRST STEP! MY FIRST STEP IS POSTING TODAY MENU!

God speaks in silence! I hear him now all over my soul! I was tired coming home from work. Not tired physically but more like drained emotionally! I failed again and this time it is eating me alive. My whole foundation has shaken. It is such a struggle to just admit this strategy hasnt worked, and just give it up. But for some reasons I couldnt just abandon this challenge. I kept asking " why? What is it that makes me so damn stubborn! For the first time I just closed my eyes and asked God for answers! No, I didnt even ask, I just invited silence! I always disliked meditation, massages and all sort of things that relax me! I couldnt stand being relaxed, being calm , being still! I was known as a crazy, hyper guy! But today I was ready for silence! Silence, even if it meant just closing my eyes for a minute and think nothing, say nothing, just listen for the silence! And as weird as it might be I just broke down in tears. Out of the blue tears just rolled down my eyes. And at the end I felt better! And I got my answers! I felt so relieved, yet so scared! I knew why I was so stubborn to just give it up. This challenge wasnt about weight loss or fat cells or muchiness. It was about my whole life, my past relationships, my mistakes, my failed expectations. Consciously I am just a big, strong guy, but subconsciously I am weak, lonely and full of doubts! I felt like a failure so many times in my life, yet I was never to talk about it. It was taboo to even admit it to myself, forget about others. And today, not only I am admitting it to myself, but to others who are listening! I put up a great fasade, a defense fence to shiled me from pain and sufferings. Hence the inability to relax, failed relationships, gained weight. Was I really that hungry at nights or was it that I was feeding my pain and loneliness and failures. I didnt know why would it happen at night?Now I know. What does night represent? Calmness, quietness, silence! And why was I so afraid and uncomftable of meditation, massage and all relaxation things? Because it represented what a night stood for, same things! I wasnt ready to look deep inside my soul and admit that I needed some big, major changes. It was change I was afraid of all along. It was easy, comftable and convenient to just put up a fence and eat my way to sleep. Then next day, long crazy hours, running around, eating lots of junk. Then more running, more eating and more running! Everything to escape the silence! Silence I was not ready to deal with! And when silence came rolling around I attemted to chase it away with FOOOOOOOD! I dont know what tomorrow will bring. I dont know if I will start changing! Is it time for me to get off this challenge and just admit I failed to only begin a new challenge? I dont know. I dont want to give up. Too many times I ran away to only realize it is very hard to run away when the person who I am running away from is staring me right back in the mirrow every morning that I shave. May be thats why I havent shaved for the past 5 days! Getting off this challenge means everyhting and nothing! If you change the way you look at things, things you look at change! But am I ready to change the way I llok at things? I am so sick and tired being touph all the time, running around, not being able to relax. On one hand I think change I am ready for. But on the other change I am ready to run from. My heart is full of love and at times I feel I am ready to love and be loved. I cant stand being lonely. Yes I have lots of friends, supportive family and great job. But I dont have the love, the love that I so much need and crave! Love for myself first and foremost! So today I made a first step! Will there be a second, third or 100 th? I surely hope so! But I will take it one day at the time and one meal as well! I am just so blessed to have found this website! I am thankful to Jimmy and to all of you guys for so much support! You are a great bunch of people, you dont judge , you dont redicule! You support and try to help! I appreciate it more then any words can say! This was the day! We will see what tomorrow will bring!

10 am-
3 packages of Russel Stove chcolate covered almonds, peanuts and caramel ( I felt like Energizer Vadim and Bunny together, lol I was running and running and running!)
= 1200 calories


4 pm-
6 oz ground chicken = 300 calories

6 pm-
2 scoopes of whey protein= 150 cal
1 glass of water
2 tablespoon of flax= 60 clories


8 pm-
6 oz turkey breast= 350 calories
1 hot dog= 200 calories
2 tablespoon of mayo= 300 calories



1 am-
1.5 cup of cottage cheese= 280 calories
Devinchi syrip 1 oz= o calories
1 cup of blueberries= 70 cal
3 fried ags in olive oil= 350 calories
4 oz chicken cuttlet= 250 calories
2 oz turkey breast= 100 calories



TOTAL CALORIES= 3550
TOTAL EFFORT= DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY IT?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Why are jewish men circumsized? Thursday menus!

Great, now jewish jokes! Why are jewish men circumsized? Because jewish women refuse to touch anything unless it is 20 % off or more!


What does it have to do with me, you ask? Everything and nothing! Why do my fat cells have so MANY soldiers that they put up a great fight to give them up? I dont know, but am sure I need to find out very soon! If I didnt make any sense up to now, it makes sense. It is 2 am in NYC and I have been sleep deprived for the past week. Ok, back to the joke and my fat cells. What I was trying to say basically is that i need to circumsize my appetite big time, otherwise what I am doing to myself is not going to be very Kosher! I was doing great all day until night creeped quitely onto my body. And then It hit me! It hit me big time! It was very strong and It was very demanding, and It was relentless, and It broght Them! It and Them were attacking me from all angels, until I finally asked for mercy. It and Them! They won today! It was hunger and them were my fat cells! I couldnt fall asleep. I said no way, no how I am eating at 12 am. I was counting stars, didnt help! I was on a warm Hawaii beach looking at the stars, didnt help! I was Bradd Pitt and she was.... never mind, ok thaqt helped a bit, but not for long! And then I got up, and went quitely into the fridge. I looked ever so innocenly into the choices and then...... I was off and running with food! I gave up tonight! I gave in to fat cells! I felt shameful, weak and not Kosher! Kosher it wasnt, but it was human and it was low carb my way! I am still fighting this war hard, I won few battles and lost few others. but the war is far from over! Just time to regroup, restructure and refocus! I did a major mistake by skipping lunch and basically dinner. I was busy, very busy! Work demand are growing expadentually with impendin g Holidays and I am trying to be the MAN! So no more skipping meals! I cant stand to loose any more! It makes me craaaaaaaaazy! I know I can do it and I know it will, even if it means i have to suck on those ascorbic acids ( vit c ) until my mucosa of the tongue bleeds! I did once and it worked great. It does work, but it is not Kosher either! May be I am craving for love, could it be? I broke with my ex after we had a fight and as I was walking away from it letting her win, she said "' Thats not how normal people fight''' I ddint say nothing at that moment realizing she was right, thats not how normal people fight, they just dont fight! She wasnt Kosher and I sent her to archives! I dont know why I cant seem to control the hunger at night, is it my subconscious mind? Are my insecurities acting up if I have them? May be repressed memories, oh God I have a few! Is it that I am craving to beloved, by me? Love my body? I never seemed to accept who I was and how my body looked! May be it is time for me to be Kosher! And that means lots of circumsizing! I must circumsize my insecurities, I must circumsize my low body image, I must circumsize my demons! And you know I will! Ok, if you still made it this far reading all of it, you are either crazy or a trully caring person and I will definitely not circumsize you!!!! Because you are allready Kosher!




11 am-

2 scoops of Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories
1 glass of Countdown milk= 100 calories
1 tablespoon of cocoa= 50 cal
2 tablespoon of light organic coconut milk= 50 cal
1/2 cup of blueberry= 50 cal




1 am-

20 scallops wrapped in bacom= 1000 calories ( rouph estimate ) they werent big, it was just lots of them, lol!

1.5 cups of cottage cheese= 300 cal
2 tablespoon of almond butter= 200 cal
2 meatballs small= 180 calories
4 oz turkey breast = 200 caloris
1 cup of cauliflower= 200 calories



TOTAL= 2480 CALORIES
TOTAL EFFORT= ENOUPH TO CAUSE CLINICAL DEPRESSION!



CAN I REBOUND TOMORROW? OR DAMN RIGHT I WILL! YES I CAN, YES I CAN, YES I CAN!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Battle for attention! Fat cells vs emotional monsters!

Guess what people, today was a battle of my evil, lovable , hugable demons trying to decide who will get my attention! And you know what happened? Follow along, I will tell you .......


12 pm-
8 0z of Countdown chocolate milk= 100 calories' carbs= 3
2 scoops of Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories; carbs=8 ; fiber = 3 grams



5 pm=
I have no idea how much in calories I cunsumed, so I will just list the amount and kind of food

25 Kosher bacon wrapped scallops
4 oz of roast beef
3 thyes of jerk chicken
3 mini hot dogs


6 pm-
6 pieces of jerk chicken
5 more of the best ever tasting Kosher bacon wrapped scallops




1 am-
1/2 cup of cottage chees
1 cup of Countdown chocolate milk
2 tablesppon of almond butter




Ok, it might seem like I ate a lot, and I did but...... I was invited to the one and only once a year President's Holiday Party! There were bunch of ass..... and ass sympathizing people there that I try to avoid on regular bases. There was so much fakeness and ass kissing gooing around that even politician would look like Saints next to them. Oh my Lord, I felt like a virgin all over again. I was so out of place sitting at the table with all these , how do I put it politically correct, know it alls that I almost puked literally! I was the only one eating low carb mind you. You dont even know how many "' Do you know bacon causes heart attacks " I got. So I swore for every time someone will mention anything about bacon causing artery clogging effect I will get up and get another bacon. So hence so many Kosher, artery clogging, and comment provoking pigs in the blanket! Eventually someone got the point and we started talking how great Obama is. I swear these people go from one extreame to another. Mind you, I work at Suny Downstate ( world famous medical instituition ) hence most of them were world's class doctors. And there we went with Obama, how great he is, how great he was and how great he is going to be! So eventually I swore next time someone will mention Obama name one more time I was going to eat another pig in the blanket, yes, that Kosher, artery clogging bacon. Eventually they stopped talking about Obama and went back talking about how artery clogging bacon was. At that moment President started speaking and I was long gone.....so cant tell you the rest of the story... Except that my emotional demons and fat cells were pretty happy today and trully got my attention!
1 packet of truvia

Tuesday menu! FAT CELLES ( 1 ) VS VADIM ( 1 )

HEY I KNEW IT WASNT GOING TO BE A CLEAN, PICTURE PERFECT WAR! SO TODAY FAT CELLS GOT BACK RIGHT IN IT AND ATTACKED FULL FORCE, BUT...... I WEATHERED THEIR STORM AND ALTHOUGH DIDNT QUITE GET IT DONE 100 PERCENT THE EFFORT I GAVE WAS INDEED A GOOD ONE.BUT ITS A TIE!


12PM-
8 oz Countdown chocolate milk= 100 calories; carbs=3 grams
2 scoops of Worlds best tasting Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories; protein=24 grams; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams
1 tablespoon of pure unsweetened oraganic cocoa= 40 cal; carb= 5 grams; fiber= 3 grms
1 0z nuts =170 cal
1 package of Truvia= o cal; tons of sweetness ( mix of stevia plus erythritol )


Big shake for breakfast, but hey its a War, I need energy people!



3 pm=

8 oz Countdown chocolate milk= 100 calories; carbs=3 grams
1 scoop of Isopure whey isolate chocolate protein= 110 cal; carb=0; protein=22 grams
1/2 cup blueberries= 40 cal; carb= 5 grams
1 oz almonds=175 calories; carbs =6' protein=6



6 pm-
8 oz Countdown chocolate milk= 100 calories; carbs=3 grams
1 scoop of Isopure whey isolate chocolate protein= 110 cal; carb=0; protein=22 grams
1/2 cup blueberries= 40 cal; carb= 5 grams
1 oz almonds=175 calories; carbs=6' protein=6



8 pm-

4 strips of cheese form various pizzas at work patry ( Yes, I got people to look at me like I was an allien and one woman made a smart comment =, but hey .....)= 8 oz= 800 calories; carbs= 8 grams' protein= 40 grams




10 pm-
3 oz of roasted beef=200 calories; carbs=0 ; protein=20
2 oz chiken dark meat= 140 cal; protein= 14 grams



1 am- FAT CELLS WENT ON ATTACK!! COULDNT FALL ASLEEP AND STOMACK WAS DANCING AND SINGING.... FEED ME MAN, FEED ME MAN, FEED ME FEED ME NOW!!!!!

3/4 CUP OF Cottage cheese= 180 cal; carb=5 ; protein=20
1.5 oz almonds= 250calories; carbs=9' protein=9
4 oz countdown milk= 50 calories= 1.5 carbs= protein=4
2 tablesspoon of almond butter= 250 cal; carbs= 10 grams; protein= 6 grams
1 tablesppoon of cashew butter=170 cal; carbs = 7; prtoein=5


TOTAL CALORIES= 3165 CALORIES
TOTAL NET CARBS= 60 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN= 220 GRAMS

THAT WAS THE DAY WHEN FAT CELLS RESISTED, BUT I PUT UP A FIGHT! MAY BE NOT THE BEST FIGHT OR BEST STRATEGY OR BEST TIMING, BUT HEY IT TAKES TIME. OVERALL I THINK EFFORT AND SELF CONTROL WAS THERE. I DIDNT LET MYSELF FALL ON MY FACE, I DID FALL MSTLY ON MY BUTT. I AM UP NOW, AND READY TO GO ON BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

Monday, December 1, 2008

DAY 1 VADIM VS FAT CELLS AND EMOTIONAL MONSTERS! FINAL SCORE VADIM (1 ) - FAT CELLS (0 )

10 AM-
2 SCOOPS OF CHOCOLITE WHEY PROTEIN ( BY THE WAY VERY TASTY ) I BUY IT ON NETRITON.COM AWESOME TASTE!= 150 CALORIES; PROTEIN= 24 GRAMS; CARBS= 8 GRAMS; FIBER =5 GRAMS
10 OZ OF LOW CARB COUNTDOWN MILK= 120 CALORIES; CARBS= 3 GRAMS
2 TBSPOON COCOA= 80 CALORIES; CARBS= 10 GRAMS; FIBER=6 GRAMS


2 PM-
8 OZ WATER
1 SCOOP OF ISOPURE CHOCOLATE WHEY PROTEIN= 120 CALORIES; CARBS=O; PROTEIN= 22 GRAMS
1 TABLESPOON OF COCOA= 40 CALORIES; CARBS= 5 GRAMS; FIBER= 3 GRAMS


5 PM-
8 OZ WATER
1 SCOOP OF ISOPURE CHOCOLATE WHEY PROTEIN= 120 CALORIES; CARBS=O; PROTEIN= 22 GRAMS
1 TABLESPOON OF COCOA= 40 CALORIES; CARBS= 5 GRAMS; FIBER= 3 GRAMS
1/2 CUP OF BLUEBERRIES= 40 CALORIES; CARBS= 5 GRAMS


7 PM-
1 CUP BROCOFLOWER PASTE= 300 calories; carbs= 14 grams;FIBER=-7 GRAMS protein=17 grams
3 oz of turkey breast=100 calories; protein=5 grams


9 pm-
8 0z water
2 scoops of chocolite whey protein = 150 calories; protein=24 grams; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams


10 pm-
4 oz of chicken ( breast, back )= 300 calories; protein=30 grams
1.5 oz almonds= 270 calories

TOTAL CALORIES=1870 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS=58 GRAMS( FIBER= 29 GRAMS)
TOTAL PROTEIN= 136 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= 100%
TOTAL WATER INTAKE= 96 OZ

EXERCISE= 45 MIN OF LOW INTENSITY CARDIO AND 30 MIN OF HIGH INTENSITY WEIGHT TRAINING