Friday, April 22, 2011

I'm fat, but I'm thin inside. Has it ever struck you that there's a thin man inside every fat man, just as they say there's a statue inside every bloc

I am back to that proverbial square one! And I gained few pounds in the process agaaaaain. I weight 280 now, up five pounds from a month ago. I simply indulged few many times over the last two weeks. The stress at work, home and few other emotional let downs didnt help much. But all excuses aside I am still going to go on. No matter what I believe I will find my way to get in shape, drop the many pounds of fat and get healthier. The Passover teaches to be free of slavery, both on physical and spiritual levels. And God knows I must get rid of many things that enslave me. Is that a word, enslave? Hmmm. I must find a way to not be depend on food for comfort. I know its hard but its doable, at least eat the right food when in crisis, lol. The other day I was looking at my photos from Cancun vacation that I embarked on 13 years ago. And oh my, what a difference. BAck then I weighed 185-190 pounds and now I weigh 280. And back then I thought I was fat. I guess I didnt know what would have become of me in only 13 years. But the good thing is I am still capable and I still believe. So back to square one or to that stone that will one day look more like a stature, a stature of healthy looking Vadim, a more healthier and youthful me!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Happiness is a good health and a bad memory!

I am still hovering at around 275 pounds. I did good for a few days but then the usual happened. No excuses though. I will take it though. I kind of seem to at least stop the wreck train from further damage. Still trying hard to get on a low carb sane wagon and stay there without cheating. I am not sure if it is psychological nut every time I go on a strict low carb regimen my gastrointestinal symptoms come back. I feel bloated, gasy and crampy. It also brings on some weird general body aches and fatigue. I am sure it has to do with adoptation period but psychosomatic can not be ruled out as well. I am still on with my medifast shakes plan, however not the way it was supposed to be. There are still plenty of food from Medifast left so I will continue to incorporate them into the low carb plan. On a personal note, I sold my 2010 Lexus and put them money into the mortgage. I leased a new 2011 Nissan JUke small SUV. I absolutely love it but it is very small. All my freinds made fun of me that I llok like stuffed potato in there. i feel quite ok except the seat. The front driver seat is kind of small for my big behind and I do get a bit uncomftable. However if positive reinforcement seems not to be good for me may be negative reinforcement will. If I gain more weight my ass will be hanging out of the car and that is illegal I think, lol. So I have to keep my weight moving downward and get rid of all those extra cushioning and I will!