Thursday, January 20, 2011

New update!

I have been sick with a bad case of cold/bronchiati for the past week. So naturally my appetite wasnt there and I decided to use it to my advantage. So I gave a MEdifast one more good , old try. Sicne I have $500 worht of food, why not? First three days were a breezer, I even had to force myself to eat. And I lost about 6 pounds in the process. But today, thursday was much tougher. Thursdays are always a killer for me. But today I did something I hadnt been able to do for the looooooongest time and that is to manage cheating a bit without resorting to a guilt/binging all or nothing technique that soem of you might be familiar with. I did cheat today here and there. I ate tai chicken with grilled vegetables which in itself isnt bad, but I ate a ton of it. And later today I ate one samll yogurt because I was craving sweets. However I stopped myself from any further damage by breathing in and out and using reasoning instead of instant gratification. Was I pissed? Yes! I was inititally! After all I wanted to do a whole week without cheating. But a bit of cheating is much different from a looooooot of cheating, wouldnt you agree? So I still consider it a victory, a small one! I decided to update my progress weekly if there are any. I am still not certain what plan I will embark on. I think it might be a combination of Medifast and other low carb foods as needed.

Current weight= 280 pounds ( 5 pounds lost ) first time in many months!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Ok, my dear and valuable friends if I have any left, this is my plan!

If I listed all my plans and challenges and failures I would have to spend a day doing it. But this is not about my past failures, this post is about moving forward. In not so recent past I bought a lot of Medifast packages and I still have about $500 worth. I contemplated on attempting to do full version of Medifast agaaaaain but given my success record I am putting a stop to it. Its mind verses heart kind of deal. My heart still want to concur it but my mind knows better. I am not ready for that drastic change of pace. But here is what I am ready to do:

1. Release about 120 pounds of blubber that is killing me
2. Start walking again
3. Stop obsessing over being perfect since nothing about me is and that is not exactly a bad thing.
4. Get some kind of stress relief coping mechanism to prevent me from emotional eating
5. Keep a blog or journal on more consistent basis.

Here is the nutritional plan.

1. Alternate between Medifast semi-fasting day and an unlimitted paleo day to follow.
2. On down day, eat five Medifast meals
3. On up days eat unlimitted amount of fish, lean meats, vegetables, fruits and low fat dairy
4. On up days eat moderate amount of bitter chocolate, cheese and nuts if needed.
5. No bread, no grains and no porcessed carbs on up days.

That is it in a nutshell. My curernt weight= 284 pounds.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

New Year, same experiences!

Today is January 11, 2011 and I am still struggling to get back on either low carb or some sane, healthy plan. At times I seem to have grabbed bull by its strong horns to only see this ugly bull come back. Overall I havent gained any more weight and still somewhat at 280 sh pounds. But it is totally a bummer. I need to get fit and release at least 100 pounds of ugly, visceral fat from my organs. I feel its suffocating me. But every time I do go on some kind of sane plan my body sabotages my effort. My IBS/some nasty gastrointestinal/near fainit/heart palpitations are back and it totally screws me up. I know I am the only one to blame as I literally poisoned my body for so long. However, I hope I am still capable of changes. I need it. I need to regain control about my eating and make a livable lifestyle nutritional plan I can live with. And I also need to find whats ailing me. I start having stronger and stronger suspicion it is indeed IBS and anxiety caused by abise, negligence and postponing healthy living until Tomorrow, New Year or some other dates. I must stop crazy obsesssion with scale and with perfection. Every time I follow a plan, it has to be perfect and if its not I just snap and eat like a pig becoming primitive reptile whos only purpose is instant gratification and a full stomack. Damn, I so crave the day when I will stop this all or nothing behavior and just eat to live and the other way around. Its been way overdue!