I felt compelled to share this very letter that i sent my boss. She started having a more informal conversations with me to understand me better so we can move on to a better work environment! I feel few of you guus might indeed appreciate this story as it describes me a bit and where i come from. BTW I am fully back on a low carb wagon and intend do blog about it very soon!
You are generous with compliments! How else did I gain almost 30 pounds in the last year, lol? I should be able to work day time. I will have to reschedule few of the projects I am involved, but it should be no problem. My schedule is pretty much flexible right now. I am working on my issues now that are slowing me down on all levels. I had solved few of them already so hopefully by the time you go on maternity leave I am shooting on all cylinders instead of just one. My machine has been running low on fuel, but I am working hard to fix it. As far as my intelligence goes, you are greatly exaggerating. Yes, i did score 130 on IQ test and I did graduate in 10% of my class or was it 2%, well not important, but if i had a brain with those numbers I would be dangerous! I am suffering with identity issue according to the psychologist I am seing now. She said I want to be free and independent and not to conform to society rules and yet I still have to just because I live in one. But if you ask me that's bunch of frog's testicle fluid. I think unless you are Oprah or Hugh Huffner , you do have some kind of identity issue. But she insists I do have identity crisis at the moment. Well, her IQ is 129 so I dont think she knows any better, lol. She does say i am horrible patient and a very dismissive one, even though I make her laugh. I think time to stop seeing psychologists. They do find more problems tha solutions! But to be frank I am struggling with identity issues. I dont know who Vadim is at the moment! It freaks me out a bit but thats life. When I was younger, I was a go getter, kind of go grab life by its balls kind of guys. But it was way too much as my extreme personality shined through with flying colours. I never took no for an answer. If I was pursuing a girl and she said no, it was yes in my opinion but hse didnt know it. I was stubborn and never gave up. If I knocked on a girl's door and she didnt open, I would get through the window. if all windows and doors were closed I would knock the house down, build a new one, put the girl there and start all over. I have many stories that are both funny and educational, may be one of these days I will write a compilation of essays. For example back in my school years, I was very good student yet never worked as hard or nearly as hard as I could. In Russia, education systemsomeone's is completely different than USA. There were no multiple choice, every test was a verbal one in front of the whole class. So the teacher would assign homework and scroll through the roster to call on someones' name to get in front of the blackboard and answer her questions. One time Russian Literature Teacher assigned for the whole class to read Mother by Gorki's, who was and still is my favorite writer. It was world's soccer tournament and naturally no-one read anything. Given the fact that I was called upon a day before and gotten an A, I figured my turn was not yet near to be called. She asked if anyone wanted to volunteer and go in front of the blackboard to tell the whole class about Mother written by Gorkiy. Noone read it and everyone in the class was hiding shamefully behind other's backs. Silence was the name of the game. I was the only one looking ever so proudly in the direction of the teacher. I was so sure she wouldnt call on me as I was sure the sun was going to rise next morning. She did call on me before after all. And usually teachers dont call on the same students twice in a roll unless your name is Vadim or you look both cocky and confident. But my confidence was all for the wrong reasons. See, not very intelligent! She said " Vadim, you look like the only guy in class that is ready to surprise me today" Or was she ver right about that, it was a surprise to her, more like a shock if you ask me. I was doomed! I hadnt read it , I was busy watching soccer a day before. But I couldnt just say " Please spare the embarrassment and excuse me today as I havent read it. No, I was way too creative to just do that. I walked in front of my teacher, stood by the blackboard and started yapping away! I was on a roll, and noone could stop me. All my fellow students were rising out of their shameless shells to hear me speak ever so eloquently about Mother. The more my fellow students were astounded by me, the more my teacher was looking pale. After i was finished the whole class erupted in applauds. They were all so proud of me. After all i was the only one who read Mother by Gorkiy! After my teacher recovered from a mini stroke she had suffered, she quietly said " Vadim, who's mother were you reciting? It surely wasnt Mother by Gorkiy! She then said " I will give you C for creativity but everyone else who was applauding your nonsense will get an F! People still swear that the Mother I was telling them about was better then Gorkiy! It is still the story that mothers tell their kids in my school! When I was growing up all that knew me would tell me how gifted and talented i was and how one day i would change the world. And I believed them. Vanity is indeed a big sin! So coming to this country I was certain to be destined for bigger and better things. Then my life would start shaping up like any other person's would. Going to shcool, studying useless information just to fit it, to conform. All my dreams of doing better and better things were fading away. I simply felt like a Zombi, a robot that was programmed and shaped by someone's else beliefs. materialistic women that would tell me how wonderful I was and how much fun they had being around me to only drop me for another guy who was a bit more well off financially. I started developing complex after complex, questioning everything i once thought i was capable of doing. I was fed bunch of lollipops, hence gaining weight. Food had become my refuge, my only true friend and so were cigarrettes. I said, what a heck if there is all there is out there for me, i might as well just go with the flow and be like everyone else. Then I started studying La Tzu and Taoism. All of a sudden I become humble, peaceful and reserved Vadim. i was more like a palm tree, flexible, yet strong. I was adopting to a theory that my life is not an accident and everything was there for me already predestined. I believed that no matter what I did, it was the right thing to do! So somewhere between feisty and stubborn Vaidm of the past and laid back and philosophical Vadim of the presnt, I got totally lost! I am trying my hardest to figure it out, the sooner the better! I dont know why I had to burden you with this story. But once i started i couldnt stop. BTW, I was typing it on my break, lol! I have tons of other stories that i wouldnt change for the world. Those memories are priceless! I always wanted to tell the infamous story to everyone at the staff development event but had no time. I told Liam this story and he literally stopped talking to me for a month! It is indeed wild, may be one day I will share it! Just to preview it, I once was offered $100,000 dollars to sleep with a beautiful call girl by a major leaguer on drugs! I challenge his ego and he wanted to prove to me that everyhting in this world has a price tag! Well i proved him wrong. Damn, was I dumb! You see another instance of my lack of intelligence! Regina, I will be forever thankful to the Student Center no matter what. I own my smoking cessation to it, thats worth more than I will probably know or appreciate. And I do understand the rules of the game! I love sports, amnd in sports they say you are only as good as your last at bat! I just felt compelled to share few stories about me stories about my life to have a better understanding of how complex my gemini personality is. Can I use this looooooooong letter as a staff development tool? I promise I wouldnt do it anymore. And i honestly hope my performance and your expectations are met sooner than later. And if not I will fully bear the consequences! In no way, shape or form I feel above the rules, and I know you are very fair!
Disclaimer: This letter is not a way for me to sweeten my boss's relationship with me! lol. I just love to share my experiences, especially with those who can appreciate it. Sorry for the spelling mistakes and grammar. i was just flowing! Thanks for your kind words when I deserve it!