Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Oh my! I am soooooooooooooooooo insanely stubborn! Back to square 1 agaaaaaain!
As I was laying in my bed watching TV there it was staring at me. I could ignore it, I could turn the other way, but I didnt. There it was a whole unused box of Medifast foods. All I kept thinking was I cant believe spending more then a thousands dollars to gain somewhat of 50 pounds. I tried and tried and failed and failed. This plan has great reviews, people who persevere with it all swear by it. So why couldnt I just suck it out I kept saying? And the more I kept analizing my former challenges and all those failures the more I kept thinking what October said, that is wasnt my willpower or lack of discipline. It was all my emotional demons. And this morning I got up having a new compromised plan in mind. And I will call it An October plan! First, because its October who suggested it and second because October is around the corner and why not make a special month, a month of a new beginning a month of more sanity rather then that thing that you keep doing it expecting different results. I will compromise and instead of trying to fail I will eat to win. I will be using my Medifast meals 5 times like I am supposed to on Medifast plan but instead of having one additional meal and no snacks I will have no limitation on additional meals or snacks but will keep them low carb. So instead of coming home with a ravenous hunger and trying to keep at bay I will have a low carb meal and a snack to keep my demons happy yet not binging thinking I failed. And hopefully it will bring me back to sanity and move my weight down. I am currently at 270 pounds. Its simply unbelievable!!! But unlike Jimmy Moore I have only me to blame. I got to this weight by eating enormous amounts of bad carbs and fast food meals. I must stop this insane dead end subconscious subotaging where I need to be perfect. Every bite of food off the plan turned out to be an extra 2000 calories of junk food simply because I had an extra bite. I will be posting more often if people are still reading, lol.