Thursday, December 9, 2010
Humbled by own failures I am still determined to fight for the WAY!
It has been one rough year. I gained enormous amount of weight and currently weigh 285 pounds. I can site many reasons why I got to that point but I would rather concentrate on why not I lost as I was planning. I failed to care and everyday was becoming more and more disenchanted with my own body thinking that tomorrow is a new beginning. But it never arrived. Tomorrow did, but new beginning didnt. Medifast become way too much to handle and complimenting it with low carb meals became too hard to swallow because of my pride. I so wanted to succeed on Medifast, after all others did. But every time something would impinge my effort and I went on a horrific binge. I ate so much junk in the past months that listing it would be a crime against human imagination so I will spare the details. Just imagine your own worst binging memories and multiply it by few folds and you will start approaching my recent reality of the past months. However this post is not about the past, its about the future. I still dont how to proceed. But I will take it one decision, one meal at a time and see what happens. I still have lots of medifast meals left so I will continue consuming them and hopefully complimenting them with low carb/ paleo meals as I once planned. So help me God!