Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Angry update!

I am angry, I will not allow my self-destructive twin to hold me prisoner any more! I just don't comprehend how easy it is for me to go back to my old ways once I am unhappy about something. I simply crumble like a cheap cookie and hide my emotions in junk food. It's not happening any more, at least for a while. I am on this weight loss crusade for my Mom who wanted to see me in shape. And if I can't do it for me I will do it for her. I seem to sabotage my efforts as soon as something goes against what I perceive should be the result. So without further damage this is my damage control plan:

1. Throw away my expensive scale. At least take the batteries out and stop weighing every day. I will do the same with my wii. Weigh in will only be done on a once a week basis.

2. Drink lots of water and not sugary diet iced tea.

3. Have all my medifast meals before 8 pm and have only lean protein with non-starch veggies after 8 pm.

4. Start some kind of physical activities after one full week of keto adaptation.

5. Stop reinventing wheels when I jump off the bandwagon so to speak. I tend to stop working the plan every time I go off the program. I will work the plan and continue on it even if and when I get off which happens from time to time.

I was doing quite well this week until I stepped on a wii scale Monday night and found out I was 6 pounds heavier then Sunday. And I followed the program that day. So instead of rationalizing the gain as simply water weight I decided to get frustrated and shove my face in a lot of carb loaded pita with cheese. It wouldn't be so bad but it continue the next day. I decided since I cheated and went off medifast the prudent thing to do was to fast for a day. And I did. But when I came back home after work I had this urge to peek at the scale to see if I lost all that extra weight form a night before. Instant gratification you know! And when I stepped on a scale it only showed a weight loss of two pounds and I was still four pounds or so heavier then on Sunday. So I did the next horrible thing I knew. I pigged out. And this time it was even worth then pita with cheese. I did feel a bit better afterwards, lol . But this morning I am bloated again and out of ketosis. And I weigh 257 pounds which is a net gain of five pounds since Sunday. I must reside my brain and change the way I look at things. It has been a loop long time coming. I am still ok with my efforts lately. After all I did manage to lose more then 20 pounds recently. But it's not enough. I must continue working the plan to get healthier and I am not exactly 25 any more to allow for these crazy fluctuations and body experiments. So starting today I am not weighing myself daily and will continue on medifast as best as I can and I know I am capable when I put my best efforts.


reta said...

world top news
nice blogger

Mimsie said...

Wishing you the best of luck and hope all works out the way you want it to. If you are positive enough I am sure you will reach your goal.

Toan Nguyen said...

Nice blogger.
good luck.

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