Say it once, say it twice, say it all the time! No more crap, no more crap, crap no more!

Do you know the definition of the optimist? Optimist is the ill-informed pessimist! But..... I can still defeat my demons, be strong and give up eating crap once and for all. So to all I say " No more" I am stopping eating crap! I have had it up to here, no up to here, actually up to high stinking everywhere. I stopped smoking after having cigarettes for loooong time. I stopped it cold chicken. I stopped drinking after having drank for years. So if I was able to do that I can stop eating crap and poisoning my body. I cant treat my body with so much disrespect and dishonesty. I will not any more! I am shutting the door. Crap you are not welcome any more! I am shaving my head bold tomorrow, I am taking my neard off tomorrow and I am stopping eating crap, TONIGHT!

Is there balance in unbalanced life?

After many trials and tribulations, after many failed attempts to gain control of my diet and my health, I am back to square one or may be o! I was told to just eat a balanced diet instead of trying all kinds of fad under the sun. I dont know if it is my subconscious mind resorting to fear or what but low carb hasnt been working for me as of late. I experienced stomack cramps, IBS kind of symptoms and total exhuastion at times with muscle weakness and pain. May be it has absolutely nothing to do with low carb, as a matter of fact I believe it doesnt. But for whatever reasons, weather it is my doctors imprinting that scare massage about low carb or what. it didnt do me any good. So I decided to do the best next thing, go with balance diet! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Goooooodness! There is nothing about my life or in it right now that even remotely spells balance! I have no idea why I thought balanced diet would be a solution. I am a sugar addict, emotional eater and a person not being able to adapt to stress any more. I suffer from some rather debilitating symptoms, was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and IBS. I was given lots of medications such as zoloft and beta blockers to calm my body down. On top of everything else my Mom is back in the hospital suffering from partial colon obstruction and my dad is in the hospital with his recurring heart angina. Ok, if that wasnt enough I had a bad car accident and my brand new Lexus is almost total. Thanks God nobody got seriously hurt even though I do need some physical therapy. Ok. So in the midst of very unbalanced life and me being emotional wreck balanced diet seemed to be a logical choice. Not for me but for my genious doctor. He said do not try to punish yourself by eliminating your favorite comfort food but rather have them in small quantitiy. Ok I said, knowing fairly well that this philosophy hasnt worked, well ever! So if doing the same thing and expecting different result is the definition of insanity, I am an insanity! So balanced diet and having my favorite carb treats in moderation ended up in a lot of poooooooop. Not only I totally lost control and ate like a mad man on a sugar mission but ate more than I ever did, nonstop. Results? I gained 10 pounds and now eight at 244 which is officially my heaviset in many years. But my IBS did go away and pardon my Russian , my shit looked normal for the first time in months. May be just may be because I ate a lot of shit, and if you follow the paradigm of you are what you eat, then if you eat a lot of shit, guess what???? So the only positive thing about all of that experiment was that I was able to defecate normal again. But I will not trade off having a normal bowle movement over weight gain and other miseries that come along with my balanced diet. So here is my final verdict at least for the foreseeble future until I get better emotionally and deal with my anxiety and stress and family issues"


I am going back to go forward, that is I am back on lower carb diet. I will, however, include lots of green vegetables, olive oil and high fat fish. I will also gear towards more of a mideterenian kind of a low carb version becuase I do enjoy eating a lot of fish, nuts and seeds and berries along with some cottage cheese. I will do more video post to update on how I am doing as well, may be once a week video update. Thanks for your continued support.

Very quick update!

I am going to make it very short. Its hard for me to do since short is not a word I am used to, but today I have no choice. I appologize for not posting any more follow up videos. I have been through a loooooooooot. My body and mind are totally working agianst each other. I have been back to feeling dysfunctional. I did change doctor and he put me on bunch of medications which I am not crazy about. He put me on zoloft, beta blocker valium and acid reducing drug. He diagnosed me with CFS, IBS and panick attacks. I started taking meds but it is not helping. Now I am simply chronickly fatigued, in pain and constipated. I thought diarhea was bad, oh boy! Constipation sucks! As far as food is concerned I havent been eating much. No appetie of late. Oh, one more thing. My friend's wife recently passed away at the age of 34 from cancer. It was simply beyond comprehension. I think the funeral made my body even more freakish. I dont know. But I pledged to stop eating eating after 8 pm in her memory. It had been the hardest thing for me to do, that is stop eating after 8 since I go to bed at around 2 am. But I decided to do it and so far I kept it.

My first video

Here is my link to my first ever youtube video!

As I pormised long ago, the youtube video is finally done. I cant say I loved the whole experience. It was kind of bizzare and on the run. I only had 10 or so minutes to shoot this video before going to the hospital with my Mom. So it was both spontaneous and nervewrecking. My initial reaction was to delete it immediately. But that would defeat the whole point. I am not perfect and will never create a perfect video. For the longest time I have been attempting to creat a perfect body that I could love and respect to only lose a bigger perspective. I already have a perfect body that I need and must learn to accept, love and respect. I had put it through a lot of trials and tribulations both mentally and physically. Its time to change! So this video is work in progress, lol, to say the least. I am a very open-minded guy and can laugh at myself. I once more realized that looks is not my best attribute, even though I love it the way it is. Its a gift and one day might even give on giving, lol. I will definitely take more videos, better quality and more nutritionally oriented. I have lots of ideas and hopefully it will start taking place sooner than later.



Here is the link, I have no idea how to post the video in here. May be Sadekat can help me out!

http://www.youtube.com/user/gentlemen11911

Is it the chicken or the egg? Go figure!

Ok, ok I am back. Has anyone missed me yet? I hope so. I do need a hug. I have been a complete and utter emotional mess as of late. My health problems got from bad to worth. My gastrointestinal symptoms that brought along a panick attack like things increased in both time andc intensity to the point where I was forced to take a week off from work. I couldnt handle stress at all. Any stressor weather any situation at work or some other subconscious thought swould bring on unpleasant events. But... the good news is that I dont think it is diet related number one and that I do suffer from anxiety disorder or more like bad panick attacks. I am still going through a lot of tests but preliminary diagnosis is IBS and anxiety with some degree of chronic fatigue syndrome. I was put on Zoloft and valium along with beta-blockers and gas reducing meds. Mind you, I dispise meds. But for the time being I have no choice. I simply cant control my symptoms at least as of yet. And now that my symptoms progressed from once a week to basically every day it is both wise and practical to listen to my doctor. I will be updating my blog more often, hopefully. I did take my first video this morning. I wasnt feeling well and taking this video was the last thing I wanted to do. But I decided to start following through on my promises, plans and resolutions. After I recorded this video I immediately wanted to delete it right away. But I decided to let it be. I am who I am at this moment and I am starting to love me. I have had years of mental abuse. The worst of it I imposed on myself. So this time around I am growing up and part of this process is accepting my body and spirit. There is room for change, lots of it but with God's help and my stubborness and hard work I will accomplish it. Thanks! I hope I can attach this video later.


I am atill at 240 pounds. It is still a looooooot. But I am back on low carb with some room for fruits and occasioanally a very tiny amount of grains. I will keep my fingers crossed. So at this pont I am not sure what provokes my attakcs? Is it the IBS causing panick attack or is it the panick attack causing IBS? I dont know but hope to get rid of them both!

Its not a sunny day in my garden!

I am in pain! I have no idea whats happening with me but it surely pisses living light out of me. My body is giving me many warning signs but I cant figure out whats going on but neither do doctors, at least for now. Its either that or my body is simply way too stressed out and needs time off to cool off. Yesterday I was insanely uncomftable spending full day in and out of the bathroom. It was not a good thing. The trip to the bathroom was followed up by extreme fatigue and pain in both extremeties. Pain would subside big time after the trip to the bathroom. My intestines were bloated and it was pushing on my diaphragm. I was told it could be IBS or stress related. I do have plenty of stress and at times it seems I cant handle it. I have been way too emotional at times too. I snapped at people, and even broke down in tears this morning. I hate unknown and I hate this debilitating condition. It simply sucks monkey's behind. It slows me down to a point where I feel overwhelmed by it. It, whatever it is, stealing my personality. I feel run down. So for the time being I am off low carb. I am still eating relatively lower carbs but will add fruits and oatmeal to calm down my stomack. Hopefully I will feel better before I feel worth. Thanks for your continued support. Not to leave you sad, I am adding this funny anekdote, hope you enjoy it!

Believe it or not!!!!!
Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr. ! in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....
Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME < BR>


Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:


Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

MENtal illness
MENstrual cramps
MENtal breakdown
MENopause
GUYnecologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HISterectomy.


Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.

Send this to all the men just to annoy them............

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