Angry update!

I am angry, I will not allow my self-destructive twin to hold me prisoner any more! I just don't comprehend how easy it is for me to go back to my old ways once I am unhappy about something. I simply crumble like a cheap cookie and hide my emotions in junk food. It's not happening any more, at least for a while. I am on this weight loss crusade for my Mom who wanted to see me in shape. And if I can't do it for me I will do it for her. I seem to sabotage my efforts as soon as something goes against what I perceive should be the result. So without further damage this is my damage control plan:

1. Throw away my expensive scale. At least take the batteries out and stop weighing every day. I will do the same with my wii. Weigh in will only be done on a once a week basis.

2. Drink lots of water and not sugary diet iced tea.

3. Have all my medifast meals before 8 pm and have only lean protein with non-starch veggies after 8 pm.

4. Start some kind of physical activities after one full week of keto adaptation.

5. Stop reinventing wheels when I jump off the bandwagon so to speak. I tend to stop working the plan every time I go off the program. I will work the plan and continue on it even if and when I get off which happens from time to time.


I was doing quite well this week until I stepped on a wii scale Monday night and found out I was 6 pounds heavier then Sunday. And I followed the program that day. So instead of rationalizing the gain as simply water weight I decided to get frustrated and shove my face in a lot of carb loaded pita with cheese. It wouldn't be so bad but it continue the next day. I decided since I cheated and went off medifast the prudent thing to do was to fast for a day. And I did. But when I came back home after work I had this urge to peek at the scale to see if I lost all that extra weight form a night before. Instant gratification you know! And when I stepped on a scale it only showed a weight loss of two pounds and I was still four pounds or so heavier then on Sunday. So I did the next horrible thing I knew. I pigged out. And this time it was even worth then pita with cheese. I did feel a bit better afterwards, lol . But this morning I am bloated again and out of ketosis. And I weigh 257 pounds which is a net gain of five pounds since Sunday. I must reside my brain and change the way I look at things. It has been a loop long time coming. I am still ok with my efforts lately. After all I did manage to lose more then 20 pounds recently. But it's not enough. I must continue working the plan to get healthier and I am not exactly 25 any more to allow for these crazy fluctuations and body experiments. So starting today I am not weighing myself daily and will continue on medifast as best as I can and I know I am capable when I put my best efforts.

Update time!

Here is my poor attempt at starting a videoblog! I guess its a work in progress lol

Is anybody there?

After hyberntating for a few months I am back to some blogging. I am not sure if there are any people reading it at this point, but if any one of you are still lurking around let me know. My Mom had lost her battle with colon cancer and its still not registered in my head that she is gone. Weight wise I am doing much better> I promised Mom that I will get in shape and I will. So far I had lost about 15 pounds and now I am at 259 pounds. I am doing Medifast program with some additional modification as needed.

I'm fat, but I'm thin inside. Has it ever struck you that there's a thin man inside every fat man, just as they say there's a statue inside every bloc

I am back to that proverbial square one! And I gained few pounds in the process agaaaaain. I weight 280 now, up five pounds from a month ago. I simply indulged few many times over the last two weeks. The stress at work, home and few other emotional let downs didnt help much. But all excuses aside I am still going to go on. No matter what I believe I will find my way to get in shape, drop the many pounds of fat and get healthier. The Passover teaches to be free of slavery, both on physical and spiritual levels. And God knows I must get rid of many things that enslave me. Is that a word, enslave? Hmmm. I must find a way to not be depend on food for comfort. I know its hard but its doable, at least eat the right food when in crisis, lol. The other day I was looking at my photos from Cancun vacation that I embarked on 13 years ago. And oh my, what a difference. BAck then I weighed 185-190 pounds and now I weigh 280. And back then I thought I was fat. I guess I didnt know what would have become of me in only 13 years. But the good thing is I am still capable and I still believe. So back to square one or to that stone that will one day look more like a stature, a stature of healthy looking Vadim, a more healthier and youthful me!

Happiness is a good health and a bad memory!

I am still hovering at around 275 pounds. I did good for a few days but then the usual happened. No excuses though. I will take it though. I kind of seem to at least stop the wreck train from further damage. Still trying hard to get on a low carb sane wagon and stay there without cheating. I am not sure if it is psychological nut every time I go on a strict low carb regimen my gastrointestinal symptoms come back. I feel bloated, gasy and crampy. It also brings on some weird general body aches and fatigue. I am sure it has to do with adoptation period but psychosomatic can not be ruled out as well. I am still on with my medifast shakes plan, however not the way it was supposed to be. There are still plenty of food from Medifast left so I will continue to incorporate them into the low carb plan. On a personal note, I sold my 2010 Lexus and put them money into the mortgage. I leased a new 2011 Nissan JUke small SUV. I absolutely love it but it is very small. All my freinds made fun of me that I llok like stuffed potato in there. i feel quite ok except the seat. The front driver seat is kind of small for my big behind and I do get a bit uncomftable. However if positive reinforcement seems not to be good for me may be negative reinforcement will. If I gain more weight my ass will be hanging out of the car and that is illegal I think, lol. So I have to keep my weight moving downward and get rid of all those extra cushioning and I will!