Wild weekend, old mistakes, same lesson!O

I will not even go on details over my weekend. I did manage to stay on protein shakes for 5 days, which was a very intresting experience. I should have stayed with it for two more days, but I didnt. I had a horrble, wild and uncontrolled weekend. I ate everything, from cakes to bread to you name it. Two days of no control food intake. That is it, though! I finally realized moderation and I is not a couple. I must completely cut out all, all and all man made sugary addictive and evil carbs! No more try a piece of this Sweedish cake or try just a bite of this Sweedish jelly. I learned another valuable lesson: All man made pastry are evil for me! Sweedish, Russian, American or Italian all are banned. I did banned cigarettes! I haven had for 18 months and my body thanked me for it. I havent tried Sweedish cigarette or italian one, so why are carbs any different? Just because they are made by another man in another country doesnt mean I should have a bite. So God willing and I really wanting it, no more madness for upcoming year. I am getting lonelier by a day, had a bad weekend emotionally. I must redirect my energy into a positive change! I dont know may be get a puppy! By the way, any recommendation for a new puppy are strongly welcome! Until we meet again, stay true to low carb and if you slip, get back. It will do your body good!

Friday menu! Diving itno my inner strength!

It is getting increasangly difficult to stay with the plan. Today for the first time in 5 days my hunger came back with a vengence. I am still hanging in there! There are only two days left of the challenge and this is already the furthest I have eve gone on liguid diet plan. Actually it wouldnt be fair to call it liguid, since I do eat few oz of nuts. But still, trust me, its not easy. I have no idea how Oprah was able to do it for 3 months. It is really touph to be able to stay away from real wholesome food! But I am doing it for a person who I got to know a bit over this past year and whos memory kept me going this far!


12 pm-
1 oz almonds= 170 cals; carbs= 4 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 calories


2 pm-
2 Isopure whey low carb protein shake= 220 calories; carbs=1 grams; protein=50 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 calories
2 oz light coconut milk= 50 calories



5 pm-
45 pistachious kernels= 190 calories; carbs= 6 grams



7 pm-
2 isopure whey protein= 220 calories; carbs=1 grams; protein= 50 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
2 oz cocnut milk= 50 cals

10 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals; carbs=4 grams
1 isopure whey protein= 110 cals; carbs=0.5 gram' protein= 25 grams
8 0z almond drink= 40 cals



TOTAL CALS= 1350 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 22 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN= 140 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= AMAZINGLY STILL 100 %

Today was a challenge in itself!

I am barely holding on! For some reasons I felt up and down today. I had strange symptoms from overheating and racing heart to lethargy. At night my stomack was severely bloated and I felt kind of lightheaded. I am not sure what causes it, I suspect it might be something in my shakes. Tomorrow I will have to elimintate some ingredients to see what did cause all these very uncomftable feeling. Or could it still be that my body is trying to reajust to hormonal changes! I and my sister happened to pass by Juniors restaurant here in Brooklyn. For those that dont know, Juniors is considered the best cheesecake bakery in USA. It was featured on Oprah and many other shows. I have never tried and it was expensive. I bought one small pieand gave to my monther, father and even dog. I managed to stay away from it. It was tempting to say the least, but I did not touch it. This challenge is going strong psychologically, not so much in how I feel though. There are few days left, hopefully I will finish it. But so far I managed to survive 4 th day, which is more then ever before on protein shakes!



12 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals; carbs= 10 grams; fiber= 6 grams
8 0z almond drink= 40 cals; carbs=1 gram



3 pm-
2 whey chocolate Isopure scoops= 220 cals; carbs= 1 gram; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
1 tablespoon organic cocoa= 40 cals; carbs= 5 grams; fiber= 3 grams
1/2 tablespoon coconut oil= 50 calories



6 pm-
2 whey chocolate Isopure scoops= 220 cals; carbs= 1 gram; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
1 tablespoon organic cocoa= 40 cals; carbs= 5 grams; fiber= 3 grams
5 oz light coconut milk= 150 cals



8 pm-
2 whey chocolate Isopure scoops= 220 cals; carbs= 1 gram; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals
1 tablespoon organic cocoa= 40 cals; carbs= 5 grams; fiber= 3 grams




12 pm-
1 oz almonds=170 cals; carbs= 3 grams
8 0z almond drink= 40 cals


TOTAL CALORIES= 1570 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS=25 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN=90
TOTAL EFFORT= 100 %

Wednesday menu!

12 pm-
2 scoops of wehy protein= 150 calories; carbs= 8 grams; fiber = 5 grams' protein= 24 grams
8 0z of almond drink= 50 calories
dash of davinchi of sugar-free syrup

2 pm-
3 tablespoons of oraganic cocoa with hot water= 100 cals; carbs= 14 grams' fiber = 9 grams
2 oz of heavy cream= 50 calories
1 packet of steiva


5 pm-
2 scoops of wehy protein= 150 calories; carbs= 8 grams; fiber = 5 grams' protein= 24 grams
8 0z of almond drink= 50 calories
dash of davinchi of sugar-free syrup


8 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 calories: carbs= 10 grams; fiber= 6 grams
2 tablespoon coconut oil= 250 calories


10 pm-
2 scoops of Isopure low carb wehy protein= 220 calories: carbs=1 gram; protein- 25 grams
8 oz almond drink= 50 calories


12 pm-
0.5 oz mixed nuts= 100 calories; carbs= 3 grams
1/2 tablespoon of coconut oil= 50 calories



TOTAL CALORIES= 142O CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 25 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN= 88 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= 100 %

TODAY WAS DAY 3! TOMORROW IS DAY 4 WHICH HAS BEEN A CURSE OF EVERY ATTEMPT BEFORE, BUT I FEEL STRONG AND STILL HOLDING ON! HARRY, SORRY BOR BUT THAT MORNING QUICK PICKER UPPER TASTED TOO BITTER, I FELT LIKE I HAD TO DRINK LIQUID PENICILIN! BUT.....IT GAVE ME A LOT OF ENERGY FOR A WHILE, EVEN TOO MUCH. FOR SOME REASONS TODAY I HAD A BOUT OF DIARHEA, SORRY TMI. I THINK MAY BE COCONUT DID IT!

Holidays are here, it means big temptation and Satan's coming out party! But you know what I say " We can stand the ground and guard the boarders"

Tuesady Menu!

12 pm-
2 chocolite whey protein scoops= 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams
1 glass of almond beverage aka Blue Diamond unsweetened drink= 50 cals; carbs=1
dash of Devinchi sugar-free almond syrup for flavor


2pm=
1/2 oz of mixed nuts= 100 cals; carbs= 3 grams


5pm-
2 chocolite whey protein scoops= 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams
1 glass of almond beverage aka Blue Diamond unsweetened drink= 50 cals; carbs=1
dash of Devinchi sugar-free almond syrup for flavor



7pm-
2 chocolite whey protein scoops= 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams
1 glass of almond beverage aka Blue Diamond unsweetened drink= 50 cals; carbs=1
dash of Devinchi sugar-free almond syrup for flavor
1/4 cup of half-half= 160ls; carbs=4



10 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals; carbs= 6 grams'; fiber= 3 grams' protein= 7 grams


12 pm-
8 oz almond drink= 40 cals




TOTAL CALS= 1100 CALS
TOTAL CARBS= 25 GRAMS
PROTEIN= 85 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= STILL 100 %



TODAY I AM STILL STANDING TALL! I FELT MUCH MUCH BETTER! STILL A BIT TIRED AT NIGHT BUT OVERALL BETTER! AND I WASNT THAT HUNGRY SO I GUES KETOSIS IS KICKING IN. I JUST REALIZED MY CALORIES ARE REALLY LOW FOR SECOND DAY IN A ROW, HOWEVER I AM NOT LIMITTING THE AMOUNT OF SHAKES, IT JUST HAPPENS THAT I AM NOT THAT HUNGRY OR I CAN TOLERATE THE HUNGER. IT IS FUNNY, BUT IT IS NICE TO REALLY FEEL A PHYSIOLOGICAL HUNGER AS OPPOSED TO JUST BOREDOM EATING! THIS PLAN IS GIVING ME NICE STRUCTURE AND PREVENTION FROM BINGING. I DO ALLOW MYSELF AN UNLIMITTED AMOUNT OF SHAKES. BUT THE DEAL WAS JUST SHAKES AND FEW NUTS! BUT I DONT WANT TO BINGE ON SHAKES AND IT KEEPS MY BINGES IN TOTAL CHECK AT LEAST FOR NOW!!!! MY MOST CHALLENGING DAY SO FAR HAS BEEN DAY NUMBER 3 AND 4. THOSE DAYS WERE ALWAYS A DEAL BREAKERS EITHER FOR BOREDOM OR OTHER REASONS. TODAY IS DAY 3 AND I AM STILL RIDING THE WAVES, HOPEFULLY I CAN DO THIS FOR AT LEAST A WEEK. THANK YOU ALL AND KEEP YOUR MENUS GOING!

Day numero uno of my crazy protein shake journey!

Weekend was disasterous, I am not even going to recap it! Some things are better left alone! Today was the Day! I woke up feeling completely out of it, no energy, no mood and no apetite! As the day went along I was actually forcing myself to eat. Then at night my brain was totally foggy, I felt ligthehaded and my body was rebelling! I dont know if it was sugar withdrawal or carb hang over, or ketosi nightmare but whatever it was, it was a day from Hell. By 11 pm I started feeling completely exhausted, not even exhuasted, it was sureal experience. I decided to go work out to help pump up blood a little bit. In the middle of the work out I felt very lighheaded and felt like passing out. My heart was racing and I couldnt wait to close down the building. I was given candy by security guard, but I refused. I did drink protein shake and it didnt help. I ended up in ER and they said I was hypoglycemic. They gave me an orange juice but I didnt drink it. I said the only way I am drinking it if I feel like I am passing out. So I didnt. I must go on with this challenge. After a while I felt better. I just dont comprehend how I would get hypoglycemic if I am not diabetic. Even given a fact I didnt eat enouph today, the carbs from overindulgence on weekend would store enouph glycogen in the liver to get my glucose up. I am done with day 1, and I am fine. I guess it will be hell for a few days until i get into ketosis and my body will shift into using ketones again. I am very determined to finish this one week challenge in Kevin's memory. I dont know but it is something I want to do badly. When I interviewed for my postition as an assitant director of student life departrment I was asked what was my best quality and I said without hesitation " Loyalty " then she asked me what was my worst one and I said " Loyalty ": My boss was puzzled and said "how can your best qualtiy also be your worst? I am loyal to my friends, my family, my work much more then I am loyal to myself. So at times by being loyal to others I am very not loyal to myself. And they do coincide, its called conflict of intrest! Today I was kind of upset at my best body. He was supposed to host a New Years party over at the Catskills mountains. We have been doing it for years. It is wild and lots of fun. But instead he elected to bail out the very last second becuase his new found girlfriend of 5 days decided she wanted to spend New Years with her friends. I first felt very unease about the whole thing and all my firends are furious at him. How can he do it? I kept thinking to myself. But then I let it go. I cant change him but I can change myself. Let go amd let God, one smart man said. So I am electing to be loyal and I will not bail out! I am going on until I feel overwhelmed and ready to throw a white flag but Keving keep me strong bro, I am doing it desptite my past failures. A week i promised a week i will deliver! Its worth it, I couldnt stand the way people dragged your name to prove an idiotic point. It bothered me! Where I come from we say that you speak highly of a person passed or you dont speak! I hope my actions speak higher than my words! Thank you guys for supporting me despite my past failures! I appreciate your help and I feel your support!


11 am-
1 scoop of vanilla whey protein= 100 cals' prtoein= 15 grams; carbs= 2 grams
1/4 cup of half and half= 120 calories


2 pm-
1 oz mixed nuts= 190 cals: carbs= 6 grams



5 pm-
syrup= o c2 scoops of whey vanilla protein = 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein=24 grams
1 tablesppon organic cocoa= 40 grams
1 glass seltzer
a bit of sugar-free Devinchi syrup


8 pm-
syrup= o c2 scoops of whey vanilla protein = 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein=24 grams
1 tablesppon organic cocoa= 40 grams
1 glass seltzer
a bit of sugar-free Devinchi syrup


12 am-
syrup= o c2 scoops of whey vanilla protein = 150 cals; carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein=24 grams
1 tablesppon organic cocoa= 40 grams
1 glass seltzer
a bit of sugar-free Devinchi syrup

TOTAL CALORIES= 1000 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 25 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN=105 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= ALL I HAD TO GIVE AND THEN SOME!


SHIT, I JUST REALIZED I JUST GOT 100O CALORIES IN, BUT IT WASNT BY DESIGN. I THOUGHT THE WEEKEND CALORIES SPLURGE WOULD MAKE UP FOR IT! I GUESS NOT!

I DID SOME WIEHG TRAINING, WHICH WAS NOT WELCOME BY MY BODY! WHEN WILL MY BODY AND MIND BE A COUPLE I AM PROUD OF?

Brain constipation or how I managed to eat nuts and gain 5 pounds in one day!

Ok people listen up! Nuts are excellent and healthy little guys! But can they be detrimental, you betta! But thats not what I wanted to talk with you about. Today was a nutritional tsunami kind of days, and it drove my demons dancing and celebrating! My demons totally took over, and then invited my weaknesses to the party. Soon after they had a baby called out of control behavior. And I ate the wrong nuts! I used to frequent russian grocery store thats a block away from where I live and is open 24 hours, talk about convenience! I finish work at 12 am and would go right into that store and bought bunch of garbage crap and eat it smoking a cigarette. That was my ritual for a while, smoking a cigarettes while eating famous russian stuffed nuts! Then I stopped smoking, then stopped eating russian stuffed nuts! I used to call that store a nutritional whore house! Today I revisited that store for the first time in almost a year, and yes I stuffed myself on famous russian stuffed nuts! Those nuts are basically crumble cookie made in a shape of walnut and in between two halves is filled with peanut butter paste. It is unbeleivable, both in taste and for one's waste. So here the formula whatever is good for taste is horrible for waste! Or whats fun russian is a death sentence for another human! So I am not even going to log what I ate , I will just list general food! But i dont feel guilty, whats the point. I could stop the insanity, i chose not to, I am still and addict, I sucked today and my behaviour was out of control, preriod, end o story, we are moving on! Tomorrow I am declaring another challenge! Without going into lots of details, i got really upset about this girl named fibergirl straight out accusing Jimmy of posting his dying brother's oictures for the whole world to see so he could make a dollar! I will not even honor those comments, i did though on pooti website on her straight talk blog. But not today. i dont know Jimmy well at all, i dont know Kevin that good but I felt strong connection to Kevin while Jimmy was describing every day that Kevin was fighting for his life! Kevin lived his life according to Kevin and thats the way it was! He is gone now but his memories and legacies will go on I am sure. So Kevin bro, I know you are out there in Universe listening and probably lauphing at me, but I will go on and do at least 7 days of pure liquid high quality combined whey and coconut shakes and few nuts a day diet. i couldnt do it for me, but I am doing it now to remember you. Call me nuts people, but I live and diet my way, period! Kevin every time I drink a shake I will raise my bottle, shake it up and drink up trying to remember your karaoke with Jimmy and those moments where you looked so happy and full of life! Sleep well bro and its shame that people needed to use your name to getunder Jimmy's skin. There is such thing as class which obviously is a foreign concept to some! I prey to have strength to not fall again, but if I do I know you will forgive me! But I hope I wont! And just in case anyone wondering I am not doing it for any money, praise or recognition! its a true heart call! Just a disclaimer!


Today I ate, not in any particular order: 2 packages of russell stover sugar-free chocolate nuts, plate of rice and macaroni and cheese, 6 russsian nuts, plate of Philipian food, dont know what it was, except I found some strange animal's body parts, oh well; two ice creams and other junk of the lowest nutritional order.

All scorning, analysis, advice and name calling is encouraged. I promise not to get mad. I am my own harshest critic. I deserve some hard asswhooping. Until we meet AGAIN, GOOD NIGHT AND BE WELL!