Ok people listen up! Nuts are excellent and healthy little guys! But can they be detrimental, you betta! But thats not what I wanted to talk with you about. Today was a nutritional tsunami kind of days, and it drove my demons dancing and celebrating! My demons totally took over, and then invited my weaknesses to the party. Soon after they had a baby called out of control behavior. And I ate the wrong nuts! I used to frequent russian grocery store thats a block away from where I live and is open 24 hours, talk about convenience! I finish work at 12 am and would go right into that store and bought bunch of garbage crap and eat it smoking a cigarette. That was my ritual for a while, smoking a cigarettes while eating famous russian stuffed nuts! Then I stopped smoking, then stopped eating russian stuffed nuts! I used to call that store a nutritional whore house! Today I revisited that store for the first time in almost a year, and yes I stuffed myself on famous russian stuffed nuts! Those nuts are basically crumble cookie made in a shape of walnut and in between two halves is filled with peanut butter paste. It is unbeleivable, both in taste and for one's waste. So here the formula whatever is good for taste is horrible for waste! Or whats fun russian is a death sentence for another human! So I am not even going to log what I ate , I will just list general food! But i dont feel guilty, whats the point. I could stop the insanity, i chose not to, I am still and addict, I sucked today and my behaviour was out of control, preriod, end o story, we are moving on! Tomorrow I am declaring another challenge! Without going into lots of details, i got really upset about this girl named fibergirl straight out accusing Jimmy of posting his dying brother's oictures for the whole world to see so he could make a dollar! I will not even honor those comments, i did though on pooti website on her straight talk blog. But not today. i dont know Jimmy well at all, i dont know Kevin that good but I felt strong connection to Kevin while Jimmy was describing every day that Kevin was fighting for his life! Kevin lived his life according to Kevin and thats the way it was! He is gone now but his memories and legacies will go on I am sure. So Kevin bro, I know you are out there in Universe listening and probably lauphing at me, but I will go on and do at least 7 days of pure liquid high quality combined whey and coconut shakes and few nuts a day diet. i couldnt do it for me, but I am doing it now to remember you. Call me nuts people, but I live and diet my way, period! Kevin every time I drink a shake I will raise my bottle, shake it up and drink up trying to remember your karaoke with Jimmy and those moments where you looked so happy and full of life! Sleep well bro and its shame that people needed to use your name to getunder Jimmy's skin. There is such thing as class which obviously is a foreign concept to some! I prey to have strength to not fall again, but if I do I know you will forgive me! But I hope I wont! And just in case anyone wondering I am not doing it for any money, praise or recognition! its a true heart call! Just a disclaimer!
Today I ate, not in any particular order: 2 packages of russell stover sugar-free chocolate nuts, plate of rice and macaroni and cheese, 6 russsian nuts, plate of Philipian food, dont know what it was, except I found some strange animal's body parts, oh well; two ice creams and other junk of the lowest nutritional order.
All scorning, analysis, advice and name calling is encouraged. I promise not to get mad. I am my own harshest critic. I deserve some hard asswhooping. Until we meet AGAIN, GOOD NIGHT AND BE WELL!