Monday, March 2, 2009
My spirit is crushed, my resolved is shaken up and I am cirtainly at a crossroad of some sort!
I just binged and it was devastating. I ate so much sugar loaded crap that my heart is jumping out of my heart. The worst part of it all that for the first time in my adult life I was feeling sorry for myself! I was sitting on the stairs and jsut eating my pain away knowing well how pathetic I really am. I had a horrific day at work, so bad it is even painful to remember. I had to endure the embarrasing, harrasing and bullish behaviour from my boss. I swallowed my pride and let her have her way. I kept reminding myself that she is pregnant. She comes from a very military family and any deviation from her orders she considers subordination. I have had enouph with that crap. I attempted to tell her that dealing with student organization requires flexibility not stiff and dry dead ends. She said that I wasnt there to give my opinions but to listen to her and do it her way since she is my boss. We kept getting back and force and I finally decided to leave her office. She demanded that I came back since she wasnt finished. I did. At that point she started to crush me saying all kind of nasty things. At that point aphone rang and I said " Excuse me I have to pick it up. It was my doctor calling about my blood results. After I hanged up the phone she said that I was being extreamly unprofessional> I told her that it was my doctor and it was kind of emergency at which point she yelled " Ask me if I care?' I just turned around and left. I am sure tomorrow morning I will be contacted by an administrator and other so called hierchy. Oh well! It hurts to know that people who you thought were nice and caring are fake and dont give a damn. But I must figure out a way to commit to a low carb and do it once and for all! I must, must, must! It is well overdue, I have to start treating my body with care and love that it so deserves! I dont know, its getting frustrating. Harry and Jo, I cant express enouph gratitude from the bottom of my heart how much I appreciate your support. It trully feels good to know that you guys are there in good and bad! Thanks!