I feel like a giant today! NY Giant that is, beat up and not loved!

I dont like those days when sleep deprivationbecomes life deprivation! Today was one of those days. Lately, I havent felt right at all. I dont know whats ailing me? Is it stress? May be! Is it some kind of anxiety disorder? Possibly! Is it fibromyalgia? Ok, why not? Is it IBS? Who is to say? Is it lack of meaningful relationship and therefore lack of meaningful sexual life? lol, ok, may be not this one! So what in the world of Vadim's universe is it???????? Once my spiritual teacher told me that the most expensive things in life are mistakes? I couldnt get it then, I was too young, too cocky and too naive. I get it now. May be years of smoking and careless living was a mistake? You say! Aha, dude, you are a genius! I think it is my body telling me something but I cant pick it up and neither can doctors! But it could be a good thing. At times an absense of news is a good news. So may be, just may be iits a good thing that doctors dont know. But it bothers me to feel this way for a long time now and have no answers. But i am not giving up!!!!! Or no, too stubborn for that. So forward we march again! As far as my diet is comncerned, I have been somewhat of a good boy, suprisingly! I have been low carb except few occasions when I ate a bit of watermelong, but thats all. What I started enjoying a lot lately is my nightly ice cream! Yes, you heard me right, ice cream! I love ice cream, love it, love it, love it! But it is homemade low carb one. I make it out of protein shake and freeze it. Two hours beofre I get home my mom takes out of the freezer and when I hit home at around 1 am its semi-melted. I put chopped walnuts on it, some berries and whalooo, awesome! I think its just as awesome as having sex by myself! Oh, did I just say that? Ok, its awesome! I mix it with MRM strawbery-banana whey with half a can of cocnut milk and frozen strawberries plus a bit of heavy cream and stevia! It is goooooooood! And it has become my nightly treat. I actually look forward to it every day, havent yet gotten tired of it. As far as other things in my life, not much news which again could be a blessing! My Mom is still very weak and suffering a lot. But as long as God gives her strenght to go on, we will beat this thing called cancer. Its stubborn but so are we. Ok, thats about it in a nutshell!


One last thing, for anyone who wants to know what today felt like symtoms wise and otherwise here it is:

5 hours of sleep


pin and needle pain all over my extremeties
bloated stomach
IBS kind of symptoms which went away with poop
fatigue
tachycardia



I will start blogging about my diet soon! thanks for reading!

Shake, shake, shake! What am I going to do with you!

I am still contemplating the direction of my nutrition journey at this moment. I mean its pretty straightforward as a long term goal. My long term goal is to eat low carb mediterenean lifestyle, that is plenty of fish, vegetables, nuts and seeds, olive oil, low carb berries and some dairy in the form of cottage cheese. I have never been much of a meat person or milk drinker or cheese enthusiast. I completely dont care for red meat. Dont get me wrong, I do enjoy a nice, juicy meat steak once in a while, but it is very once in a while. I mostly eat fowl when i crave meat. But for the time being I am going to implement all of the above plus one or two shake here or there. I bought an insane amount of whey and eggwhite protein powders. I do love protein shakes as well. So at this moment I will just play mix and match to see if my symptoms will subside or go away. Thats the plan!

My 6 weeks cure has ended its journey!

Despite my premature departure form the plan, I had accomplished plenty. I did manage to survive a week on it without much cheating so thats a huge moral victory for me. I attempted to do many, many times with no or very little success. But this time it was a big deal. Unfortunately my symptoms preclude me from continuing on and I must find out whats ailing me. My symptoms are now getting me very annoyed. They range from stomach spasms, relieved by moving bowel to pin and needles pain thorughout the body which is also relieved by bowel movements and general sense of lethargy which is also removed partially by bowel movement. I have no idea whats causing it, but drinking protein shakes makes it absolutely worth. It might be few things including my reccuring anxiety, IBS or some kind of inflammation. I dont know. But it surely is nasty. Thank you all for continued support and words of encouragement.

Time out! I am taking time off to see if my symptoms are direct hit from the shakes!

I have had quite unexpected and pretty debilitating symptoms for at least 4 days now ranging from cramps to constipation to lethargy. I have decided to take a break for at least few days and see if it was the shakes. So far last night and today my symptoms totally went away and I ate a lot of different things including carbs. And I had not symptoms as of yet. I had lots of meat with avocado and side slad, 3 beef hot dogs with 2 eggs and slad and 1 slice of pizza. I also ate some nuts at dinner time. I did however have one shake after the work out. I am restarting the shake week 2 on Sunday and this time I will use egg white protein instead of whey or at least mix it up with mostly egg white variety to see if my symptoms do go away. i believe more and more it is IBS and for some strange reasons all this amount of whey protein excaserbates it. I will keep you posted on what happens!

Day 7 and I am pooped out!

Last night was the official week 1 ! I did however celebrate it by going off plan and eat, eat and eat. I had 1 blintz with sweet cheese from france and that little sucker has 15 carbs and its small! I also had lots of avocado and 1 vegetable burger with side slad. that was late at night in addition to all the shakes and one meal I had earlier in a day. But I did work out with weights and felt a bit hungry, more so than usual. I was contemplating if I should go on to the second week doing this 3 shakes and one meal plan. For the past 4 days I have had strange and debilitating intestinal issues. I have had intestinal spasms, poop with mucosa, joint pain and general feeling of being unwell, especially in the afternoon or right before going to the bathroom. Its very difficult to digress and decipher whats causing all of it. But I decided to go on to week 2. I will, however, tweak a few things. I will start mixing up my whey protein with egg protein, number one. I will also add on more vegetables or some kind of fiber in the form of flax or something else to my shakes. Thats the plan. I am clinging to the notion more and more that all of it could be ralated to Irritable Bowel Sundrome and Stress and Anxiety. But marching on towards second week!


Oh my God, I totally forgot. I did lose a total......drum beat please.........









8 pounds in week 1! I think its really good considering I did cheat few times. Once with vodka shots at my friend's circumcision and last night.

Day 6 and my poop!

Be warned, this post contains some graphic depiction of reality in this blogger day to day life!

Ok, day 6 was more challenging than other days. I started having more and more abdominal cramps, loose stools and distended stomack. My poop was not coming with ease at all and when I accidently looked at it I noticed something rather unusual. My poop was full of some sticky yellowish glue like phlegm. It was alarming. I decided to read up on it and found out it could be anything from bacterail infection to infectious colitis to IBS which I might have had for a year now due to stress and anxiety. I decided to wait a day to see if it was just for a day. But it happened again, some strange fragments of jelly like yellowish mucosa attached to my poop. Now I am concerned. But as of this eveneing it seems to be subsiding as my poop is getting larger. So it may be due to some inflammation. However, I will have it checked to make sure. As far as my diet goes, I am starting to have other health issues along with stomack cramps. My anxiety seems to be getting worth and I am feeling lethargic in general. I am not sure if its my diet causing cramps and other symptoms or my anixety due to everything going on in my life. Nevertheless I am pressing on and so far had been able to complete a week of the plan. Thats a huge moral vicotry for me since I failed to do shake plan for at least 7 times and the most I ever lasted was 5 days or so. So week one is done and over with. I am not sure if i should go on with a second week or just pull the plug. I am just not feeling well at all! And my stomack is simply bothering me too much. I shall see. i may just hang in there for another week to finish it!

This is what I ate for day 6:

12 pm- power up shake


4 pm- power up shake


8 pm- 2 0z of mixed lamb and chicken, 3 oz of chevre cheese, 2 eggs, side salad 4 oz of swiss cheese( I did go overboard with cheese tonight, but I did it consciously and didnt feel bad about it, I really wanted some cheese)


12 am- power up shake

Day 5! Good news and bad news! I guess this is the new trend now for me.

Heeeeeeeeeeelo wonderful readers of my English as second language blog! First, let me thank all of you for being there for me. Some I got to know a bit better than others, but I thank you all for your support, advices and comments. God willing I shall soon start videoblogging as I promised so many times. But for now this is all I have time for. My Mom is doing better and they did find a dangerous bacteria in her colon called Chlostrodium Fe something. It is very prevalent amongst antibiotic users and can overgrow causing infectious colitis and severe pain, diahrea and bunc of other symptoms. But good news is that they did find it, which can be a challenge at times and are treating it. So hopefully it will be killed and my Mom can restart chemo. But bad news is that her oncologist will have to delay her chemo treatment for at least two weeks until that nasty bacteria is murdered. At times this nasty bacteria gets so stubborn that it takes long time to get it down and that would be a very bad situation. But I did talk to it and told this bacteria that it needs to leave, and lol, so far it listened to me. It must be a male, because female people or female pets or female anything are not that compliant when it comes to me. But with male its simple. I told that bacteria yopu either live or it will get ugly buddy. And it just started to leave. But all jokes aside, I pray that it is killed very soon.

On a separate note, I am still pressing on with my shaky plan. It is getting progressively difficult to continue though. I dont know if its psychological or what but I started developing bloating, distended stomach, gas and tachycardia from drinking shakes. I even have mild diarrhea and cramps. I am not sure if it is so much protein and whey that I might be reacting to or may be something in a protein poweder. For now I am pushing ahead and will try to twitch it here or there to find a middle ground where I can be ok healthwise. But at this point I am starting to believe that it might be anxiety attacks triggering stomack distress. Before I thought it was stomach issues triggering anxiety attacks but may be not so. I have always been a hyper person but at this time additional stress in my life just releases way too much adrenalin causing all kinds of symptoms. At times I literally feel like bouncing off the wall with energy. It feels like a billion of massueses tickling my every cell and at times I feel like passing out with very fast heart rate, weak legs, sweatiness and lightheadeness. Ok, enough talking about anxiety and my shady brain. I am sure its not a very appetizing subject. So moving on to what I ate yesterday, here we go again:


12 pm- Power up shake

2 pm- 4 oz of mixed lamb, chicken and 2 oz of chevre cheese with 2 TBS of avocado and 1 tablespoon of butter with side salad of cucumber and tomatoes.


8 pm- Power up berry shake



11 pm- Power up shake

2 rollaids and 1 GasX pill. I was shocked to find out that every anit-gas medication or pill had either dextrose or starch in it. I was unable to find anything without it. So I took few with it. I know it is not the optimum way but I needed it. Plus I am still amazed that a but deviation doesnt screw me over as it used to. Being a bit of COD it is truly a miracle or may be I am indeed growing up! So I think a miracle would be more believable as all my ex-gfriends would have said. It is what it is as my friend Bush junior used to say! Thanks for reading!