Wednesday, September 23, 2009

How come are you still single?

It might be a bit off subject, but then again it is not. Because the very subject of this blog is to grow, learn and accept. What is a weight loss without finding oursleves? Is the weight loss a simple manifestation of something else going on? May be much deeper than we are, something on a level that a naked eye cant see or the ego cant understand? I think it is! We go on diets, we get off of them. Then we change it to the word lifestly thinking it might be the lifesaving technique. But it is isnt until we learn who we are and where we should be and how to get there and finally accept and love who we are not who we think we should be or who others want us to become. One man smartly said that what other people think of you is non of your business! I love that saying! So going back to original question " How come am I still single?' My ex asked me that very question tonight after I spent 3 hours on the phone consoling her. She is an extraordinary girl and I have dated her for 4 years which was an all time record. Mind you, she hasnt been with anyone for more than 6 months in all of her 110 years, lol, kidding 35 years! So despite our tremendous differences I still stuck by her until day it had become obvious we werent going to make it as a couple. But I did everything I could to save our relationship and make something of it that it wasnt. Ok, fast forward to today. She has been dating another guy, who is a lawyer by trade and makes a lot of money just as she does. She is a financial investor on Wall Stree. That was a big issue between us, she could never accept my satisfaction with my job. But I could care less. I was who I was and wasnt going to budge it. She thought I was a philosopher whos idea of happiness was sitting by the fire watching the stars and play my guitar, and she was right. Our values were day and night. She was way too materialistic or me and I was way too spiritual for her. Fast forward to today. She called me and I asked me a question " why, despite of all I ever wanted, I am still depressed and feel empty? I off course joked first and said that it was because she was missing me. But coming to my senses i responded that may be thats not what she wanted, but thought so because others instilled it in her. We had a long conversation and she finally said " Ok, if you are so special as you are, how come you are still single? I paused and than told her a story that I once heard my mother tell me. There was a rich, intelligent man whos looks and charms left no woman indiffrent. He was perfect, one woman said, he is so rich another whispered and he is so darn sexy third one exclaimed! He was passing alone and one of them asked him " Sir with all your attrbutes how come are you still single? Well, started the man, all my life I was looking for a perfect woman. And I eventually found her! We stayed together for a while and she left me! Left you, how is that possible? Because she was looking for a PERFECT MAN! So in this story my mother once told me, lies a lot of wisdom. At times we look for a perfect mate, a perfect job or a perfect diet when in reality there is none. Life itself is not perfect and thankfully so. Once I heard that the most expensive things in life are our mistakes! But it could also be a blessing! So may be when we stop looking for perfection around us and in ourself we will trully find happiness! BTW I blew my 6 weeks again, si I am taking a bit of a break to regroup! No regrets, no sorry for myself feeling, just acceptance. I am accepting who I am, good and bad, because I am who I am and who I am is a creation of a perfect being! So until we meet again, Thank you and God bless you!


P.S. My mother is and will always be my best friend, my mentor and my ideal model of a woman! And not because she is my mother but because she is trully a special and unique woman. She has always been just, brave and loving! I have never remember my mother putting me down or not believing in me. Yes, she scolded me and yes she put me in my place, but she would always remind me that she loves me and she will always cheer me on as long as I am doing the right thing. And the right thing she said is in your hearts already! Love you mom and may God keep you around for many, many years because you are just that special!

7 comments:

Angie said...

love what you wrote about your mom....

Nancy said...

Your momma was a smart lady and she raised you right! And its better to be single that to be with someone who wants to change who you are.

Vadim said...

Thank you Angie and Nancy! Your comments are always appreciated and so that you know I am very open-minded so if you ever feel to let it all known go ahead. I love honesty and appreciate open and honest folks. Thanks again!

Angie said...

Vadim, do you like the peanut butter protein powder? I'm shopping for more, so I'm taking a poll :)

Vadim said...

I do like peanut butter peanut butter

Harry/JP said...

Ever consider looking for a partner online, Vadim? Maybe E-Harmony or something like that?

I hope your Mom's treatment response has improved.

My best to you and yours.

Vadim said...

Thanks Harry!