Thursday, September 17, 2009
Oh boy Oh boy! Insanity, Insanity is knocking on my door again!
I dont know what to do at this point. I failed miserably again. And this time not only did I get off the protein shake plan, I went off the low carb period. I did eat cookies, bread and other junk. And in all in all gained 8 pounds in the process. One thing I do know at this point is that I cant get emotional about it. I will instead keep analizing my mistakes and see what the culprits are and how to correct them. Last night I was desperate and was contemplating on quiting. I really thought about putting the end, throw the white flag and admit I just cant do it at this point. I still might, but not yet. I know its all psychological. But it has been long time coming and I must concur it. Dr Mike new plan asks for only two weeks sucrifice before embarking on 4 weeks of all you can eat meat part. So its only two weeks of endurance, liver cleansing and calorie restrictions. But boy oh boy is it tough. And the toughest part of me is not actually restricting cals but restricitng my reaction every time I deviate a bit. Every time I eat something extra even though its low carb I feel like the biggest failure and just go off alltogether. Thats the hardest part for me. I must do things 100 percent as prescribed or else I feel like the weakest and most failed person. I know its the head thing and I might admit at this point I might have a bit of obsesive-compulsive behaviour. But there has to be a way to just do it! And I am still looking. But what I leanrnt so far is that even if I do fail again I wont go off low carb. No way, it is just way too taxing on my body. I will just eat low carb instead. But for now the show must go on!