Saturday, January 24, 2009
Politically incorrect, naked outlook at life, food and what it all means!
I am back people! Embrace me, scold me, praise me or simply ignore me! I needed a time off to get back to what? I dont know, but back I am! I will not discuss where I was, whats the point. Lets just say it wasnt sexy, desirable or meaningful. It was a self-destructive place, a place of self-discovery and self-indulgence! I will not discuss my food choices, whats the point, its in the past, or is it? At least it is for a moment! I asked so many questions to many so many people! I got so many asnwers from so many people! But in the end its all irrelevant, because answers that I am looking for are within my reach, its a matter of seing them. But do I see them? I dont have the answers, but boy do I have questions? And I will ask you guys few of them today! How many of you are losing weight for health related issues only? I heard so many people lie and say oh yes the reason I diet is to be healthy! Rarely have I met people that truly do, and if they do, weight usually falls off, low carb or not! But many say they do, meanwhile are obsessed with scales. I will rephrase the question. If I had a magical shtick and could make you healthy but fat, would you take it? If I could make you look all nice and muscular and fit without anything jiggle like a jello, unless it was meant to, how many would still weight themselves? I doubt many. So for lots of us weight is not a health issue unless we really are a mess healthwise. For many of us weight is a symptom of a hidden soul troubles. And food becomes a very convenient indulgence to get away from our daily soulsearching. But I have had enouph with being fat! I have had enouph with being self-conscious body image. I want to be FREE! Free from self-pity and low esteem, free from society image of me, free from other people expectations. I need to relearn to love my body, fat or skinny! I have lots more to offer than 6 packs, 32 inch waist or head full of hair! Screw low esteem and screw poor body image! I dont need anti-depressant to feel happy! I didnt need them when I was a little kid! I still have a kid in me, its a matter of removing my ego. So screw ego too! I once dated a girl who had a nice sense of humor. After making love to her, we were laying in bed chatting! I lived in a small studio. She looked around, and said '' OH, AND YOUR APPARTMENT IS SMALL TOO" and started lauphing. But I wasnt lauphing! Funny it wasnt! She kissed me and said " Dont worry, you guys are all the same! And she was right! I was like all other men with low self -esteem. She said " I was joking, your appartment is small and so is your body image but everything else is ok! I kissed her back and said " Its not the size of the appartment, its the size of the owner's heart that matters! But is it? Off course it is, but at times I have to convince myself of that when it comes to me or my self-esteem! So without furhter a due, ladies and gentlemen I am announcing I am back! I dont know what tomorrow will bring, but I am making plans today! I am planning on starting a new lifestyle! I have my new pedometer and I have my new hope with it! I am back people, and happy to do so!