Saturday, January 24, 2009

Politically incorrect, naked outlook at life, food and what it all means!

I am back people! Embrace me, scold me, praise me or simply ignore me! I needed a time off to get back to what? I dont know, but back I am! I will not discuss where I was, whats the point. Lets just say it wasnt sexy, desirable or meaningful. It was a self-destructive place, a place of self-discovery and self-indulgence! I will not discuss my food choices, whats the point, its in the past, or is it? At least it is for a moment! I asked so many questions to many so many people! I got so many asnwers from so many people! But in the end its all irrelevant, because answers that I am looking for are within my reach, its a matter of seing them. But do I see them? I dont have the answers, but boy do I have questions? And I will ask you guys few of them today! How many of you are losing weight for health related issues only? I heard so many people lie and say oh yes the reason I diet is to be healthy! Rarely have I met people that truly do, and if they do, weight usually falls off, low carb or not! But many say they do, meanwhile are obsessed with scales. I will rephrase the question. If I had a magical shtick and could make you healthy but fat, would you take it? If I could make you look all nice and muscular and fit without anything jiggle like a jello, unless it was meant to, how many would still weight themselves? I doubt many. So for lots of us weight is not a health issue unless we really are a mess healthwise. For many of us weight is a symptom of a hidden soul troubles. And food becomes a very convenient indulgence to get away from our daily soulsearching. But I have had enouph with being fat! I have had enouph with being self-conscious body image. I want to be FREE! Free from self-pity and low esteem, free from society image of me, free from other people expectations. I need to relearn to love my body, fat or skinny! I have lots more to offer than 6 packs, 32 inch waist or head full of hair! Screw low esteem and screw poor body image! I dont need anti-depressant to feel happy! I didnt need them when I was a little kid! I still have a kid in me, its a matter of removing my ego. So screw ego too! I once dated a girl who had a nice sense of humor. After making love to her, we were laying in bed chatting! I lived in a small studio. She looked around, and said '' OH, AND YOUR APPARTMENT IS SMALL TOO" and started lauphing. But I wasnt lauphing! Funny it wasnt! She kissed me and said " Dont worry, you guys are all the same! And she was right! I was like all other men with low self -esteem. She said " I was joking, your appartment is small and so is your body image but everything else is ok! I kissed her back and said " Its not the size of the appartment, its the size of the owner's heart that matters! But is it? Off course it is, but at times I have to convince myself of that when it comes to me or my self-esteem! So without furhter a due, ladies and gentlemen I am announcing I am back! I dont know what tomorrow will bring, but I am making plans today! I am planning on starting a new lifestyle! I have my new pedometer and I have my new hope with it! I am back people, and happy to do so!

7 comments:

Harry said...

Welcome back, my friend.

You've been missed and you are cared for ... big, small, hairy, bald ... you!

My hope is that you find wellness, no matter how you get there. I'll do my best to support you to that end.

Let's get the show on the road! :)

Vadim said...

Thank you! Thank you indeed!

Erika said...

Welcome back, Vadim!

Maybe we do have some kind of esp hehehe

Online none of us know what you look like, but we still care and support you. And we're not in the minority.

Great to having you back, and here's to moving forward :)

e

Vadim said...

Thanks! I am planning to having videoblogs soon. I have a picture in my profile. I do look like that picture, lol!

NewVision said...

"symptom of a hidden soul troubles."

Yep, you nailed it there. I wish you did have a magic stick my friend cause I would love to be healthy. And yes I also would love to look good but if I had my choice on which on I had to be and could ONLY pick one..healthy it would be. I already know that when I do get down to my goal I will have so much sagging skin that I won't look good anyway. So I'm going for healthy.

But hey on a lighter note, I've posted a picture of my dog over on my blog. Go take a look. She is not a Boston Terrier. But I think she is cute. :)

I'm sooooooooo glad to have you back. Just concentrate on your pedometer numbers for now....Tell you what, I will start wearing mine tomorrow and will post my little o' numbers if you do? what do you say?

Vadim said...

You betta Jo, I will post my numbers! Lets be pedometer buddies!

NewVision said...

you got it....
I got my pedometer all set for tomorrow.

Also, I have NOW added Videos of my Dog...LOL
Go take a look. We have just been fooling around all day. I love days like this. :)