Thursday, December 18, 2008

I blew a lid wide open from my plan and blew it again! I cant be hush-hush about it!

Hey, it did happen again! I failed or did I? I am finally at that stage of my life when I am ready to change my mind and my philosophy at how I look at things. I will not go into my usual 3 pages of detailed chains of events. Last night was both fun and disasterous at work. First, I havent had any qualityu sleep lately. Yesterday we had a huge departmental Holiday lunch. This time it was an extended staff meeting! And I did manage to be the only one not eating anything while people pigged out on everything and anything. I couldnt eat none of that food, because I was on my liguid protein shake diet and number two even quality portein was fried in breaded stuff. So it was challenging to say the least. I mean challenging indeed. From few days ago I only had to listen to few people bitch about me not having one cookie, but this time, since it was extended staff meeting, th bitching was extended as well. I mean whats with people having a problem with other people being different. Yes, I am weird, I told one lady. Yes, I am spooky, I told another. Yes, I am on that freaky dangerous Atkins diet I told the third. And yes, I have no problem eating this way despite the fact that animals have to be slaughtered for me to be fed that way I told the fourth. Until I couldnt be honest any more and did what most if us guys do when push comes to shove. We lie! I hate to lie, but at times i feel it is a viable option to hush an annoying woman. Its that or a nice, passionate kiss. Since I couldnt kiss all those annoying caring women, i had to start lying and annoying them back. Hey, cant help it. I am gemini, and can be the biggest pain in the butt. So I said to myself the very next person starts lecturing me on merits of merits of my diet or that it is impolite and antisocial to not eat where everyone else does, i will tell them.... And I did! I finally had it with people who cant take a clue or a thousands clues that at times I care about what people have to say and at times its time to back a hell off ladies! So I after another question from my boss this time about how my extreame nature gets me in trouble and how I have to be more moderate, including my diet I said outloud " Listen guys, I really do appreciate your concern and care for my health and my sanity, but I have hemoroids that will be removed tomorrow and I am in for an enema appointement so i am on all liguid diet to make sure when I do my enema cleansing and then it was silence..... I should have put it on youtube, i swear I could have made money out of it. It was like a frozen scene and people had parts of sandwitches still in their mouths and frozen in that position. Silence it was! Then my boss finally smiled and said Vadim have you ever heard of TMF? I said heard of what? She said TMI - too much information. I was, what? And I told her, hey have you ever guys heard of TMA? She said what? I sadi too much advices! She smiled again and said you are fired! I wasnt smiling but she was. It was a joke on her part. To make a short story long, the party was soon over and I held my ground again. I did absolutely fine all night until....... Until late night. I am in charge of all entertaintment programs on campus. And that includes intramural basketball tournament. I wont have into all the details but we had a big fight during a game between one of the medical student and a university police officer who is playing in the league. We allow employees to play with students. Needless to say it was a mess. I had to intervene, calling police and documenting everyhting. It was a huge stink, considering its a state university.Everything was fine in the end, they boht shook hands and got suspended for a year from the league. But when I finally came home, I was both exhausted and emotionally drained. So I decided to consciusly mind you give myself a cookie that I secretly took from my boss table. I really wanted to try it for some reason. After all she baked it with love for so many reasons. Yes, i was a big woes! The cookie tasted like..... Ok, imagine your best ever sexual experience with the person you were madly in love. Ok, that cookie compared to all the others I ate in my life tasted like mastyrbation would be compared to the best sex with the most loved person. It was cookie version of masturbation in sex. It was only good enouph to get by and satisfy a craving! Ok, may be TMI like my boss said. But that masturbation cookie led me to make love to real sweet junkie, you know how you women are attracted to bad boys, I am attracted to the worst bad boys of nutritional world. So there I went making love to ice cream, pasta, and few more real cookies. I was eating ice cream like it was my woman who I was in love with. And you know what, no regrets here. I did it, I did it consciously and I wont do it again for a long time now! I was trully enjoying every leak of that ice cream. It wasnt like the usual scarf it down in one bite. No, it was indeed making love. I was slow, and deliberate. Every bite and every leak was passionate and heart warming. Ok, you get the picture. So I am back to square one! But this time I will keep my pormise and end this challenge. Will I call it a failre? No. Failure it wasnt. It was an expeince! Not by age but by experience do we get wiser! I did manage to stay with the plan during very challenging times for 3 days! So I can easily do it. But the challenge is over as I promised. So now its back to no challenge. I will follow my nature and go along with it instead of resisting it. I love freedom, not restriction! There is a reason I am not yet married! ok, that was a bad joke, never mind! Its like peeing in the wind and gettign upset at the wind for getting wet! So no more challenges, just sane low carb eating! Ok, guys ubtil we meet again, my menu is next! I must be honest with you all, you are my comrades in battles!


2 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories; protein= 25 grams
5 oz coconut milk= 80 calories
8 0z almond drink= 40 calories
1/2 oz of Devinchi syrup sugar-free
1 tablesppon of organic cocoa= 40 cals




6 pm-

same as 2 pm



10pm-
same as 2 pm



1am-
1 ice cream bar, 5 cookies, a small plate of pasta with artichoke hearts and breaded chicken; cherries;


Sorry for misspeled words, my brain is much faster than my hands. And I am always in the rush! Thank you for listening!

13 comments:

Lora said...

Vadim!

Your words leave me dizzy! Calm down and take a breath. Maybe reevaluate your liquid protein needs and try again.

Since I stopped eating sugar or sweet stuff I have no more migraines. I stay far away from the donuts and cookies, too!

Take care.

Lora

Vadim said...

I told you, those low calories dont give you that much energy! lol

Vadim said...

Lora, I am a hyper guy by nature, not aggrsive, heper. My ex used to always tell me to calm down, and it pissed me off to no end. Dont worry, you are not my gfriend, lol I wont get mad at you. I just love when people tell you to come down when you are calm to begin with. I just have a lot of energy! I loved anger management movie. Can you tell Niagar Falls to calm down? I am a Niagar Falls not Saint Vincent lake!

OnPoint said...

Vadim, PLEASE do not be angry with me for saying this, but you might want to break your thoughts up into paragraphs, unless you write the long paragraphs for poetic effort or something. I know English is not your native tongue, so this may not be something natural to you.

Why on Earth do you feel the need to lie about your plan? We have an employee here fasting during our Holiday Week, so she skipped all of the foods we've had each day. Sometimes, I think we all (including me) take ppl's offhanded comments to be more than they are. Though you were choosing not to eat at the party, and though several of your co-workers commented on it, I'm pretty it was a bigger deal in your mind than actual fact. They likely cared little whether or not you ate at the party. Such small talk is a natural part of life.

pooti said...

Hahahaha! You cracked me up! I was laughin out loud.

Ok so here's my advice, dude. You seriously need to get laid! :D

Beyond that, here's to you seeing sanity and starting to eat real food for real men again!!!! Attaboy!

Anonymous said...

OK I haven't read your blog in awhile. When are you going to drop the shake routine and start eating some real unprocessed low carb food? Remember what that bald chick used to say. Stop the Insanity!
Good Luck

Sadekat said...

You know Vaddy, I had a problem with my co workers back in August when I started my low carb diet (YES I know you HATE that word, so shhhhhhhh). They told me I was killing myself, they told me I was starving myself, they told me that I didn't need to lose weight. They told me a lot of stuff. For that reason, I stopped talking about my diet (there's that word again!) That hurt me that I couldn't talk to my co workers about my new plan because I consider my co workers to be like family. I spend more time with them than I do anyone else, even my husband. So, I started talking to my low carb friends. I started blogging and making videos and learning to surround myself with like minded folks. I educated myself about low carb. I am learning still more and more about low carb. FINALLY after some time, all those co workers who thought that I was killing myself and starving myself realized that I am not dieing and I am not starving and they shut up. Now they can see with open eyes that I eat very healthy. I eat more veggies than they do, I drink more water than they do. I have clearer skin, more energy... do I need to go on? They will see the difference in you and realize that whatever you chose to eat they may not agree with, but whatever works for you... works.

about that work DIET that you don't like for me to use: Did you know the dictionary lists the word diet as:
~food and drink regularly consumed
~habitual nourishment

So the word diet does not have to mean something negative.

I had to throw that in because of our conversation a couple of weeks ago!

OH by the way, I still don't talk to my co workers about my diet (OMG there that word is again!)

NewVision said...

Vadim,
Looking forward to seeing YOUR LC menus.

Vadim said...

Onpoint, i promise I wont get angry at you no matter what you say. Number one, I am a very opne minded guy, number two anger is an emotion I reserve as a last step. It takes a loooooooooooooooot to get me angry! I am a very straight forward and honest guy, but at times its just easiet to lie. Guys do it all the time dealing with emotional women. Case and point. One of my ex had problem with her body part and was very sensitinve about her body image. Even though I dont love women for their body aprt, but hse knew I am a huge fan of breasts. She happened to have small breasts. i kept telling her i loved her and i couldnt care about it. She wanted breas implant, and I was against it. But she kept insisting on it until I finally said listen if you want to do it for your peace of mind, no matter how wrong I think it is, do it. Oh my it opened a whole fight about me lying to her all this time and how I really felt and blah blah blah. I did break up with her, and not because of her small breast, but because of her small self esteem. So no everyone can handle the truth! Anyway, thank you all for commenting!

Harry said...

Hola, Mr. V!

We all have to figure out what freedom really is for us.

Is freedom being able to eat anything and everything we want whenever we want it?

Or, is freedom the ability to control how and what we eat despite our destructive desires?

I'm not saying that you always behave like the first option. You clearly don't. You exercise great willpower at times. And I give you mad props for that.

The question is ... can you still feel free and not harm yourself in the process?

I want you to have it all. Be the Vadim that you feel you truly are. I just don't want you to be healthy as well.

Can those two pieces of the puzzle co-exist? You tell me.

I hope you find your footing tomorrow. :)

Anonymous said...

Vadim, I will be so glad when you are done with these challenges of yours and actually start eating real meals.

You will feel so much better and the temptations will not be as strong.

Vadim, please eat food. Real food.

Miriam

Vadim said...

Thank you, Miriam!

Erika said...

Will I call it a failre? No. Failure it wasnt. It was an expeince! Not by age but by experience do we get wiser!

What did you learn from this experience?

Guys do it all the time dealing with emotional women.

Sorry to hear your ex and your co-workers are scarring you so much. I almost think it might be time for a change of scenery if you are so surrounded that you think everyone of a single gender is the same.

Have you thought about changing the non-food related aspects of your life?