Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tuesday menu or whats the difference between a coconut oil and a pregnant woman! Today I had every chance to blow my nutty plan, but did I?

Where do I start? Where do I start? Today was one of those day that was impregnated by evil Satan himself! Waking up was a big challenge! I woke up from a horrible nighmare,and when I did it was awful. I felt so weak and bloated that I had to check my reproductive organs, to make sure I had not transfered into a woman overnight. It did feel like everything my ex-gfriend described when she was about to have a period. Thanks God everything was still in place and I was indeed who I thought I was. It took me time to collect myself and rebound from a horrible nightmare. I was late for work, so in a rush I forgot my car keys and where I parked my car a night before. It took me half an hour to find a car in a pouring rain to only find out I wasnt missing keys to open it. Ok, back home in a pouring rain! You would think while getting back home I would get an umbrella, wouldnt you? Beep, beep, beep! I didnt. So back in a pouring rain, with no umbrella. I was able to make it to work in one piece though. Once at work I was called into my pregnant boss office for a nice chit chat. A nice chat ended up being an all out open disagreement even though the only person who was chatting, and disagreeing was my boss. Have you ever experienced a feeling when a woman is having an argument with herself? Ok, I did. My pregnant boss called me a push over because I let students leave with cakes from coffeehouse which was supposed to be a sit down event. As soon as I attempted to open my mouth, I was told to shut it. So without opening it to the degree where it needed to be shut, I shut it. I wasnt about to have an argument with a pregnant woman for two reasons. One, I consider myself a gentleman and most importangly I didnt want my boss to have premature contractions. Finally when I was able to open my mouth wide enouph to whisper a word, I was immediately told it was bunch of excuses and that as a manager of the facility I am way too soft at times and an enabler. Ok, it was time to keep myslef from moving again. Finally I had it with an errational, emotional pregnant woman and decided to say she was 100 percent right, I was 100 percent wrong and both I and my team will do amuch better time next event. You would assume the conflict was over. Wrong! I was then being told to stop being sarcastic! HAh? Sarcastic? I said no, i just dont want to argue for two reasons I said. Number one I didnt feel the reason to open my mouth since it creates too many excuses, and two I didnt know how to deliver a baby! Then I was accused of being dismissive! At that moment i did what any sane man would do. I started lauphing hysterically! Lol, you know what it worked! Because she started crying! It was a scene worth seing! I stopped lauphing, for some reason she just killed it by crying! Then it was 20 minutes of consoling, appologizing and crying again! Finally it was over! Until I remembered today was a day for staff meeting. And staff meeting was run by my pregnanat woman. And off course there had to be lots of food! All kind of food. Salmon with teryaki sause, lasagna, jerk chicken, sushi, scallops and champaigne! Just when I realized I wasnt having any of those foods, my boss extended a box to me and said " hey, Vadim, I am sorry for a rampage before, I did overreacted a bit. I said whats in a box? She said home made cookies. Home made cookies, I asked? She said " I know you love cookies and I spent almost all night baking them in appreciation of having you on my staff! And she hates cooking! I started lauphing again! I said, you know what you will lauph with me when I tell you that I cant have these cookis tonight! She wasnt lauphing! There was so many reason to have those home made cookies, but I stood my ground! I did go into explaining how I was having a challenge and how it was this and how it was that, but ...... She wasnt having all of my excuses until I would eat one of her cookies. Do you think I did??????????


2pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
1 glass of light coconut milk= 125 calories
1 tablesppon of organic cocoa=50 calories
1/2 oz of sugar free Davinchi almond syrup= 0 calories
1 tablesppon of coconut oil=120 calories


6 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
1 glass of light coconut milk= 125 calories
1 tablesppon of organic cocoa=50 calories
8 oz almond breeze bevwerage= 40 calories


8 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond breeze bevwerage= 40 calories


10 pm-
2 scoops of Chocolite vanilla whey isolate protein= 150 calories: carbs= 8 grams; fiber= 5 grams; protein= 25 grams
8 oz almond breeze bevwerage= 40 calories
1 oz mixed nuts= 200 calories

12 pm-
0.75 oz mixed nuts= 150 calories


TOTAL CALORIES= 1550 CALORIES
TOTAL CARBS= 30 GRAMS
TOTAL PROTEIN= 125 GRAMS
TOTAL EFFORT= 100 % AND THEN SOME!


Quote of the day: Behold the Woman

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

9 comments:

Harry said...

Hooray! You did it! Very, very good!

Keep on shaking things up. :)

Vadim said...

lol, I am trying! Thanks for your support!

Sonya said...

Way to go, Vadim!!

FYI - When someone gives me homemade goodies that they prepared with love, I do not tell them that I am not going to eat them. ;-)

Vadim said...

Sonya, I hear you! But I respectfully disagree with you! Those cookies could find a much better owner. But if she trully loved me she would have understood, smiled and said hey no biggie, your health and well being is much more important than any cookies. I ll give it to someone else. But unfortunately when people on insiting loving you, what or who they are really loving is their ego or themselves! It would actually be a great topic for discussion!

Lynn said...

Good job, Vadim! About those cookies, I love to bake but feel guilty making those wonderful-tasting things for my children because I know they aren't GOOD for anybody. I rationalize that my children are still young enough that they can get away with all those carbs, but still...

Sadekat said...

Way to go Vadim! Love the quote at the bottom too!

pooti said...

Holy Cow! You're a "better man than I" ;) haha! I don't know how you didn't cave for the cookie, dude! Attaboy!!!!!

I really love reading your stories. They crack me up and I hear you speaking in an accent!

NewVision said...

LOL, I hear the accent too when I read Vadims stories. LOL

WTG!!! I'm not sure I could have turned down cookies made with 'love', but you did. Great Job!

Erika said...

Hi Vadim,

What a workplace, no wonder you're stressed!! I think your manager needs some time off if she's crying over day-to-day stuff.

Great work not having the cookies. Like Sonya, I usually say something non commital, like "they look great! I'm sure they'll taste just as good too!" and then give them to my mum or my neighbours.

I can understand why you don't want to do that, and as long as you're prepared to get into a discussion about it, I think that's just fine too :)