Thursday, December 4, 2008

Why are jewish men circumsized? Thursday menus!

Great, now jewish jokes! Why are jewish men circumsized? Because jewish women refuse to touch anything unless it is 20 % off or more!

What does it have to do with me, you ask? Everything and nothing! Why do my fat cells have so MANY soldiers that they put up a great fight to give them up? I dont know, but am sure I need to find out very soon! If I didnt make any sense up to now, it makes sense. It is 2 am in NYC and I have been sleep deprived for the past week. Ok, back to the joke and my fat cells. What I was trying to say basically is that i need to circumsize my appetite big time, otherwise what I am doing to myself is not going to be very Kosher! I was doing great all day until night creeped quitely onto my body. And then It hit me! It hit me big time! It was very strong and It was very demanding, and It was relentless, and It broght Them! It and Them were attacking me from all angels, until I finally asked for mercy. It and Them! They won today! It was hunger and them were my fat cells! I couldnt fall asleep. I said no way, no how I am eating at 12 am. I was counting stars, didnt help! I was on a warm Hawaii beach looking at the stars, didnt help! I was Bradd Pitt and she was.... never mind, ok thaqt helped a bit, but not for long! And then I got up, and went quitely into the fridge. I looked ever so innocenly into the choices and then...... I was off and running with food! I gave up tonight! I gave in to fat cells! I felt shameful, weak and not Kosher! Kosher it wasnt, but it was human and it was low carb my way! I am still fighting this war hard, I won few battles and lost few others. but the war is far from over! Just time to regroup, restructure and refocus! I did a major mistake by skipping lunch and basically dinner. I was busy, very busy! Work demand are growing expadentually with impendin g Holidays and I am trying to be the MAN! So no more skipping meals! I cant stand to loose any more! It makes me craaaaaaaaazy! I know I can do it and I know it will, even if it means i have to suck on those ascorbic acids ( vit c ) until my mucosa of the tongue bleeds! I did once and it worked great. It does work, but it is not Kosher either! May be I am craving for love, could it be? I broke with my ex after we had a fight and as I was walking away from it letting her win, she said "' Thats not how normal people fight''' I ddint say nothing at that moment realizing she was right, thats not how normal people fight, they just dont fight! She wasnt Kosher and I sent her to archives! I dont know why I cant seem to control the hunger at night, is it my subconscious mind? Are my insecurities acting up if I have them? May be repressed memories, oh God I have a few! Is it that I am craving to beloved, by me? Love my body? I never seemed to accept who I was and how my body looked! May be it is time for me to be Kosher! And that means lots of circumsizing! I must circumsize my insecurities, I must circumsize my low body image, I must circumsize my demons! And you know I will! Ok, if you still made it this far reading all of it, you are either crazy or a trully caring person and I will definitely not circumsize you!!!! Because you are allready Kosher!

11 am-

2 scoops of Chocolite whey protein= 150 calories
1 glass of Countdown milk= 100 calories
1 tablespoon of cocoa= 50 cal
2 tablespoon of light organic coconut milk= 50 cal
1/2 cup of blueberry= 50 cal

1 am-

20 scallops wrapped in bacom= 1000 calories ( rouph estimate ) they werent big, it was just lots of them, lol!

1.5 cups of cottage cheese= 300 cal
2 tablespoon of almond butter= 200 cal
2 meatballs small= 180 calories
4 oz turkey breast = 200 caloris
1 cup of cauliflower= 200 calories




Erika said...

Hi Vadim,

First of all, you're a very unique character hehehe. Was that PC enough of me?

As for the binging, depression and positive thinking, they sound great. But if you keep having these ups and downs and letting it get you down (we can read between the lines that it is), then maybe you should re-assess your tactics here. Maybe the plan you're following isn't structured the way that's right for you.

What do you think?

Vadim said...

Erika, nice to hear from you! I have no idea what in the world is going on with my computer. for some reasons it wont log onto your blog, it only happens when I try your blog. Its ok, I will still open it from my work! You might be right that I need to reassess my tactic, but only when i successfully finish this challenge. it is personal now. Its man vs his demons! I am a very stubborn guy and if I said I will beat my demons for a month, I will do it! I still yet to completely fall on my face when it comes to challenge. It might take me longer then expected but doubt me not, i will cross the finish line! I am a very competitive guy! But after i will have successfully done the challenge, then and only then I will go on with my normal routine, meaning eating lots of wholesome, fresh food. And when I finally loose asll that weight and pose for Playgirl magazine, I will celebrate by swimming naked in below 20 celcium in NYC and get arrested for indecent exposure! I can only imagine the headlines ;;; A crazy russian swimmin naked to celebrate his low carb success! And on my butt i will write ALl those who disliked dr Atkins arrow can kiss you know what! And I am crazy to do it. Will you guys still support me then?

Anonymous said...

Hi Vadim,
You ARE a wild and crazy guy! Loved the joke by the way.

Would you remind me what your challenge was exactly? Was it to stop the nite eating specifically?

Vadim said...

Lynn, the challenge was to drink 5 protein rich replacement meals and one whole meal a day! It wasnt supposed to be low cal necessarily. But yes in included stio eating after 10 pm as well! So far I have failed for the most part, however I still managed to eat low carb meaks only, and even my cheating days were primarily low carbs! But it sills sucks crocodile balls to not see it through. i guess its a manly thing> I cant stand to loose, and loosing my body over mind is definitely not goodskiy! I must cuncur this battle!

Jimmy Moore said...

You are too funny, Vadim! Thanks for sharing your menus.

Vadim said...

lol, any time! Thats how jews always deal with stress. Humor! I am so happy, Jimmy that you started it, tis amazing. I have met people here that are caring, understanding, and truly supportive! I have been on all kinds of diets through my weight loss jouney, but this is by far the best bunch of folks! May be people who eat fat and meat are happier by nature!

Harry said...

Where to begin, where to begin?

I love your addition of coconut milk to your chocolate shake. It probably tastes great and the added fat should help with your appetite.

But listen, I'm going to tell you how it's got to be ... NO MORE SKIPPING MEALS! Understandsky?

Bring a thermos with a shake or two along with you if there's even a chance that you won't have time for a sit-down meal.

Winning a war involves carefully planning for the battles. Your fat cells plan their time of attack - nighttime. You know their strategy. Now battle back!

Are your sleep issues new? Have you ever tried anything natural to try to improve your sleep quality? Let's see if we can find a possible solution for that, okay?

My sleep isn't great either, don't get me wrong. But, I'm working on it. It's vitally important and it plays a role in our feelings of hunger.

Until next time ...

Vadim said...

Harry, its amazing , but you made it so simple, yet it just resonated throughout my whole body!

Winning a war involves carefully planning for the battles. Your fat cells plan their time of attack - nighttime. You know their strategy. Now battle back!

Thats it! You are so right! I did underestimate my army so badly. It is way more diificult then I thought! No, sleep deprivation comes from trying to extend my awaken hours, i guess I am trying to do too much. When I hit the bed I dont even remember how I fall asleep!

Anonymous said...

Vaddy, my dear, I have so much to say I don't even know where to begin! You are fighting a war yes, put are your soldiers prepared? I have plenty of failures in my recent low carb adventures. PLENTY! I learned from my mistakes and now I make sure all my weapons are loaded and my mind is set. I can be a stubborn one too! Now that I have my mind set for the last week, I am being a pain in the butt with myself. My old self would look at my new self and say, "who does she think she is?" My new self just tells my old self to "shut the hell up!" I refuse now to screw up because I am seeing results. For weeks I wasn't seeing results, but I knew if I just kept plugging along that I would make it. But then I started slipping.. just a little bit, and before you know it I had some bad habits of eating too much low carb junk food. For me low carb junk food creates problems. Maybe for you your shakes are causing you to have cravings, which is leading to your thoughts telling you to eat at night. Take it one day at a time, or one meal at a time. Pretty soon that one meal is done and you feel good that you accomplished it, then the day is done and you can look back and say to yourself that you did it. Then the week has passed and you can say to yourself, "look what I did!!!" Check out my menu and see how many times I write saying that I am going to have a dessert, but then in the end I don't make one becasue the craving has passed. I think mostly my cravings leave because I am too busy writing notes to all my new low carb pals, but hey! whatever works right! I hope I didn't make any Fruedian slips in this message!

sybil said...


You wear me out just reading your posts!

I, too, suffer from insomnia and sometimes wake up hungry - which has never happened in my life before (the night hunger or the insomnia). I think lack of sleep can really mess with you. Here's a couple things I've tried.....

1. Meditation. Even just some quiet time before you go to bed, contemplating the fuzz in your navel.

2. Write down your worries/concerns about an hour before you go to bed. And then try to forget about them.

3. Youtube has some interesting insomnia solutions. Check out EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) if you are so inclined. It's based on Chinese meridians.

4. Lavender oil. I put little oil on my hand ('cuz I usually have my hand under my head) or under my nose. It's supposed to be helpful for relaxation.

Good luck!

Vadim said...

Thank you sebyl!