Sunday, December 7, 2008

Has anyone heard of LOW STRESS CHICKEN? HAH? Yes, I bought them! Low stress, Kosher chicken links to the rescue!

Ladies and a very few Gentlemens! I present to you the only show in town! Put your feet together and stump as hard as you can because here He is........... A man who bought LOW STRESS CHICKEN LINKS! Ok, ok, ok I admit I did buy low stress chicken links. They were raised in a free range environment under very low stress and killed in amost humane way possible under Rabbi supervision. They must be magical! I will use them sparingly in my meals. Now I know for sure why I couldnt lose weight all this time. It must have been those damn high stress chickens, that werent roaming in free range environment, having lived under low stress and killed in a most humane way possible under Rabbi supervision! Those damn stressed out chickens! No wonder my nephew at 14 looks like English Mastiff on his worst day! Always cranky, and demanding! And he is just as big! He eats a lot of chicken links. See the links? Chickens that are not free ranged, having lived under low stress, and killed in a most humane way under rabbi supervision are linked to kids that look like English Mastiff on a bad day! I will start a movement! FAt people against high stressed chickens that link to kids that look like English Mastiff on a bad day, who are always cranky and demanding! But for now I have an unfinished business to copmlete! I must first tend to my fat cells and kill them using low stress, and killing them in a most humane way under my supervision! And I am ready to rock, and I am ready to roll and I am just damn ready! So without further delay, please cheer me on! Here comes a man on a mission. A man who bought free ranged, low stressed, treated in amost humane way and killed under Rabbi supervision! Until we meet again!


WEIGHT= ASTOUNDING, UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE, AND STOMACK CHURNING, TARAAAAAAAA= 227 PONDS! I MANAGED TO LOSE A POUND EATING SO MUCH DREK, THAT IS DERAGATORY TERM FOR SHIT IN JEWISH. Oh, hold down that is shit in jewish! Ok, Monday meals are coming up, on Monday!!!!!

7 comments:

Harry said...

Best of luck, Vadim! Take the bull by the horns and lead it to the stress-free chicken coop.

Don't let the Rabbi down!

Erika said...

Great work tracking down the cause of all your ills!! lol

I actually thought that's what Halal meat was.... plus a blessing of some kind before they're slaughtered.

So how's the menu looking for today?

Vadim said...

Thanks Harry, I cant let those chickens die in vain, can I? Erika, just woke up and feel horible for overindulgence in carbs lately. But my spirit is strong, there is soemthing about Mondays that makes me behave. Its usually toward weekends that I become unruly!

Solshine said...

Drek is my new word for the day. LOL! Thanks for the lesson and thank that Rabbi for keeping the chickens peaceful.

Vadim said...

Actually I read Dr Eades website and in his answer to one of my comments he said that Rabbi mistreat those chicken when they slaughter them and that a lot of Kosher slaughterhouse have been closed lately and kosher meat market are half empty. So go figure! May be those chickens are not even chickens, who knows! Oh whey, I meant oh wey!

pooti said...

Vadim,

I think your blog is very funny! I also think you are just a guy, struggling along like the rest of us. That's quite a bit different from someone who proclaims at every turn to be "such 'n such" on the basis that he's lost 180lbs. (which by the way is awesome! cudos Jimmy!) When he's so deeply rooted in denial of his own emotional eating issues as a binge eater.

Ok, so feel free to come over to my new blog where I will reveal in all transparency the daily low carb journey of another poor schlep (me) just like anyone else...

www.weightytalk.blogspot.com or read my menus at
www.todayiatea.blogspot.com

Tomorrow I will be entering my food for the first time out!

See ya there and look forward to your pithy commentary!

Vadim said...

Sounds good pooti, look forward to reading your blog!